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    March 31st, 2010

    6w4d is what our baby is measuring at. It is 1 day ahead of schedule, but certainly on track of where it should be. The measurements are good and we got to see and hear its little heart-beat. It’s a good pace of 117, which is right on track for the current gestational age. It will get faster over the next couple of weeks.

    Given how crummy I’ve felt over the past week, and a few off-hand comments from various doctors and people “in the know”, I’ve been really fearful that our single embie split into twins. While twins are miracles, and I would’ve loved to have twins while pregnant with G, I’ve been really afraid of them now. Between the increased risk during pregnancy, knowing it would be unlikely to carry to term, complications, then insanity of 2 children NOT sleeping while a toddler also needs me; and then the added cost of care, I’ve been really, really scared. I know that we would do fine in the end if it were twins, but the logistics (and hey you know we’re planners) were just mind-boggling. I spent a few good hours yesterday reading medical studies on mono-zygotic twins following infertility treatment. Aaaah, all my bio classes were finally paying back. At the end of my reading, I saw that the chances of us having identical twins was 1.36%, and that was of the sample group already pregnant. The rates of MZ twins following an FET cycle were even lower (0.18%). I’ve slept pretty good last night knowing this. I guess I should’ve done the reading much, much sooner. Call me a glutton for punishment.

    When the ultrasound went in, I immediately saw the sac, and in the sac I immediately saw a single embie. It was a huge first sigh of relief. The rest of the appointment I could focus on the measurements and how simply perfect this little one is right now. I’m happy! Our next appointment is in 2 weeks and I hope things continue to stay on track. Until then, wanna take bets what my next neurosis will be? I give myself about 3 days before something settles in :

    But until then, marvel at G’s little sibling. It’s the lumpy thing inside the black bubble. Did I mention my dad is convinced we’re having another boy?

    Mommy’s little soccer player

    March 30th, 2010

    G’s a big fan of balls. He’s got a mean arm when it comes to throwing, but he’s now into kicking the sphere around too. I seriously feel like I should be looking at toddler soccer camp programs this summer.


    All that soccer makes a boy hungry

    Artwork Day

    March 30th, 2010






    19 months

    March 29th, 2010

    Our boy is fearless. Once he gets comfortable in his environment, he is all over the place. But he gets this honestly, as neither S nor I are known for conservative choices on physical safety. G is climbing and jumping from one couch to another. He’s a madman on the playground too. While I smile on this inside, I also know all the things I used to do as a child that would make my parents’ hair stand on end (hell, it makes MINE stand on end now), so I’m not thrilled to think of all the trouble he’ll be getting into.

    This past month we’ve seen a big push for self independence, and definitely a lot more talking. We now have 3 phrases, one of them containing 3 words. He sure is growing up!

    Weight: 22lb 6oz

    Height: 30.5″

    Number of teeth: 13

    Words: 15+ this month, with at least 5 in the last week
    * boh (bottle)
    * babee (baby)
    * car
    * puh (puff)
    * moon
    * fiss (fish)
    * dohdie (doggie)
    * burdie (birdie)
    * do (door)
    * geen (green)
    * cuh-kie (cookie)
    * eyes
    * apple
    * baketball (basketball)
    * pon (spoon)
    * run
    * jump
    * wee
    * yum

    Phrases & Sentences: 3
    * Geen ball (green ball)
    * I got ball
    * I run

    Favorite food: G seems to be really excited about big-people food. He’s a big fan of Indian Butter Chicken, Cashew Chicken, Oatmeal, Stawberries… The big deal is that he wants to feed himself with a spoon. He’s not nuts about self-feeding, but certainly prefers having his own spoon and being allowed to use it.

    Favorite activity: Running away from you, laughing, and saying “No” while holding onto something he shouldn’t have…. all while you chase after him in attempt to pry it out of his little fingers

    New accomplishment: Learning how to jump

    My hopes for next month: We had no progress on getting rid of the morning bottle, although to be honest, haven’t really tried. Maybe I’ll tackle this task this month.

    Potty trained?: What is this thing you call potty?

    Naughtiest moment of the month: Smacking dad in the head

    Sweetest moment of the month: Holding my hand when we go out. He’s not into hand-holding, so this is huge

    Temper tantrum meter: mild

    I have the best husband!

    March 26th, 2010

    I have the best husband! I truly do, and am thankful for him every day. This last week he really stepped up and pulled double-parent/spouse duty, because, frankly, I couldn’t.

    Remember my last morning-sickness post? Yeah, well, things progressively got worse over the week. As of Wed I was officially hugging the porcelain bowl, and by yesterday I had added chills & other bathroom-confining activities to my schedule. It sucked! My RE’s office put me on Zofran and called me every morning since. When the chills and GI problems started they sent me to my PCP for further evaluation, because my symptoms no longer pointed to morning sickness, but perhaps actual illness. Good news? I’m feeling much better today. Although none of my labs have produced any diagnosis over why I’ve felt the way I do, today was a drastic improvement.

    I’ve felt so poorly over the past few days though, that I couldn’t get up in the morning. S has really had to do all activities around the house and with G. And he’s done it with kindness and without complaint. He stayed home today, because my PCP warned that depending on my lab results I might need to be admitted to the hospital for re-hydration. We didn’t do the “in sickness and in health”-bit in our vows. None the less, the man is there for me and I cherish that more than you’ll know.

    Love you, babe!

    Foto Friday

    March 25th, 2010

    Two weeks ago, G’s Auntie P, and Mr. L (that’s Auntie P’s beau) came up for a visit. On her last day, we all piled up in the car and headed north for the CA Academy of Sciences. We had a good time, even though we missed out on the rain-forest exhibit. Oh well, I guess a reason for them to go back with us again.

    I wasn’t planning on taking my fancy photography gear with us that day, mostly because I wanted to enjoy the exhibits with the family, but since both P and L planned to take theirs, I lent P the fancy camera. Unfortunate side-effect? Now she wants one ;p

    Best part for me, though? For a change I get to be in photos! HA!

    Here we go

    Big kitty!

    Rattle-snakes. Me, showing G what kind of pet we’re NEVER having.


    Peeking down at the acquarium

    Rain-forest exhibit


    Lots of fiss

    Oh, he was not a fan of the star-fish. Water was kind of chilly, in his defense

    We were invited over for dinner by this guy. We declined

    Our personal paparazi. Please visit often!

    Huh, so morning sickness ends at 2:35pm

    March 23rd, 2010

    I’ve been feeling yucky. It sucks. Kind of. I say “kind of”, because while I really don’t enjoy the way I feel, I am comforted by feeling gross. Feeling gross means that my HCG levels are still climbing, and if they’re climbing, the baby is doing OK. Until that first u/s, and being able to listen to the heart-beat on my own, this is the only thing I have to hang onto to make me feel “safe”.

    With this said, I’m thankful I’m not hugging the porcelain bowl and I’m hoping it will stay that way.

    I’ve heard the saying that every pregnancy is different. While, yes, I acknowledged this was true, I didn’t realize HOW different, and how QUICKLY different would be. In this regard, it makes me feel like I’m experiencing pregnancy for the first time.

    I came home from work today (I bailed WAAAAY early might I add) with an arsenal of home remedies: ginger-ale, lemon oil, preggie pops, and even the big guns: Unisom. I’m gonna try and stay away from the Unisom if I can manage it, so tomorrow morning I’ll be starting my day off by reaching for my B6, ginger-ale, and crackers. If I can survive on this alone, I’ll be a happy girl.

    Movie Monday

    March 22nd, 2010

    S bought G a little step-stool. It’s a blessing and a curse… trust me. G is now able to climb up on the couch with ease… as well as my computer chair… and the TV stand… and well you get the idea 🙂


    Knowledge is power. Ignorance is bliss.

    March 19th, 2010

    I found a lot of support when we were trying to get pregnant (the first time around) on The Knot’s TTTC board. I got a lot of questions answered in regards to treatment, the process…. everything. I felt like I was prepared to make the right (for us) decisions through reading others’ experiences.

    Then when we successfully got pregnant through IVF, I found that I had to leave that board. I did so for 2 reasons:

    1) Respect for those still trying. While still coping with infertility, for some people, it’s difficult to be in the presence of those who have gone over to the other side… even if you shared the same origins. It’s a feeling very difficult to explain, and I won’t try. I wholeheartedly understand it, and by no means judge it.

    2) Self preservation. For each happy baby story, there was the multitude of loss, sadness, and disappointment. I found that the only way I could focus on being of healthy mind was to stop reading about the sadness. Yes, I betrayed friends in that way, but I needed to. For myself, and for G. I won’t apologize for this.

    Following my exodus from that community, I joined another — the happier side of IF: that with success. It’s a community that shares a lot, and it’s wonderful! Without it, my pediatrician’s office would have gotten 100x the calls and questions they’ve received to date. I’ve learned so much about nursing, supply maintenance, proper distribution of medication, gear, sleep training: truly the collective knowledge is amazing.

    But sadness followed there too, and over the past two years, along with the invaluable parenting information I’ve received, I’ve also seen horrible things happen to wonderful people.

    So here I am 4w5d pregnant, and this past week I’ve woken up from nightmares of miscarriage. I spent the first half of this week in dread each morning that THAT day can be the day that something horrible can happen. It wasn’t until noon that I shook that feeling. Let’s just say that it’s an awful, awful way to start your day. It’s gotten better over the last two days, but if I tell you that paranoia doesn’t enter my mind each morning, I’d be lying to you.

    Hence the knowledge dilemma. I’m a better mommy because of my online obsession. I’m also a neurotic pregnant chick that needs to be committed into a sleep-induced stupor until week 26 🙂 FIX ME!!!

    Life Lessons from Sesame Street

    March 17th, 2010

    This post is rated PG-13. Parental supervision is advised.

    Last night we all watched the Camping Show episode of Sesame Street. In this episode (for those of you who haven’t seen it), Elmo and Chris go camping. As they sit down for dinner, they’re interrupted by a beaver. Elmo invites the beaver over for dinner. Chris protests a bit, but after awhile consents and goes foraging for food with Mr. Beaver. Then they all return to the camp site and Chris talks about what he did. It’s at this point that S blurts out “Don’t worry Buddy, you’ll be doing things for Beaver for the rest of your life.”

    Yeah, you can close your jaw now too. I’ll give you a minute.