Gametes In Love

We ran errands yesterday afternoon with G. While at Whole Foods, S spotted the following post-card and decided to quiz G on what sort of animal was illustrated at the front.

S: G, what is this?

G: [pause] A pig.

Yeah, he told US!

G found some change on my bed-side table after I had emptied my pockets, and consequently decided it was his. He held it in his hands, while I changed his diapers, continuously referring to it as “Ma Money!”

I don’t think he has any idea what he was really saying, or what the value of the petty change was. But I’m amused it starts now.

Eh, maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll be good with money management.

Better than me, at least, I hope.

I had to get into the driver’s seat via the rear of the car today? Why? Because I locked myself in the backseat of my car.

Since G has been playing escape artist after being unbuckled from his seat, I’ve started applying the child-locks on the rear doors. And of course, I’d forgotten all about this when G asked me to sit next to him after he got in the car. In my “smartness” I wanted to illustrate to him that if I sit in the back with him, then no one would be able to drive the car. So down I sat, and closed the door behind me. G didn’t find his lesson particularly amusing, enlightening or insightful, so I decided we were done and tried to get out. Only to realize I couldn’t. I had two options: 1) yell for help and look like an idiot; 2) climb over to the front of the car and also look like an idiot.

So… what I learned:

1. The Honda Fit has a very narrow space in between the front side seats.

2. The headrests on the Honda Fit are pretty darn tall.

Those two factors, paired with an 8m pregnant lady mean some hilarity watching from the side-lines as she (I) navigates the way to the front. There was definitely some booty wiggling action trying to inch over to the front. Carefully at that, so that I didn’t kick G in the head as I was trying to swing my legs over the seats. What saved me from a line-up of parents laughing hysterically at this sight was 1) tinted windows; 2) me parking at the last spot of the school lot.

So yeah… while G learned nothing from today’s adventure, I learned to never close the rear door behind me… unless I have someone around that can rescue me. Or at least I hope I learned this. We won’t know until the next time I try to lock myself in though 🙂

Who knew that an activity center has value past the infant stage?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BITl-qk5uaE]

Do you ever feel like negotiating with a toddler is like negotiating with a terrorist? Toddlers:

1. Have no patience

2. Do not understand/follow logic

3. Are often-times incomprehensive (verbal skills wise)

4. Do not tire of saying “No!” or insisting on whatever it is they want RIGHT.NOW

5. Are happy to blow up your personal sanity in order to achieve their goal

I really feel that the best way to train a negotiator is to put them through a few months of working with toddlers. Negotiating my guy, for example, into a new diaper is both a mentally and physically exhausting activity.

As a related example (although not a true illustration of G at his worst), here’s a story of yesterday’s snack time negotiation.

G (after he had finished a container of yogurt): Cookie!

Me: Ok G, I can give you half a cookie.

G: TWO cookies!!!

How did we get from 1/2 a cookie to 2? S has trained him for two by offering him one for each hand. Thanx, S! So this is where Mommy thinks fast and breaks 1 cookie into 2 halves, and gives each hand something to hold. Yeah, I lost. It wasn’t half a cokie. He got double what I offered. But he didn’t win either, and it was an arrangement I could live with.

I’ve been worn down many times though, and G’s won many more than I’d like to admit. This whole parenting thing is not quite the dictatorship I thought it would be. Sigh!

Just when G finally started using “Yeah”, we entered the age of “NO!” And I don’t mean “No!” in the sense of answering when in conversation. G is now asserting himself by clearly telling us that he doesn’t want to do something.

This morning “No school!” I thought I had at least 4 more years before hearing that one. He LOVES school, but apparently he likes hanging out in his pajamas watching Cat In The Hat more.

Then it’s “NO!” on dinner. “NO!” on getting in the car. “NO!” on getting in his seat. You get the picture. It’s tiring. I’m tired.

He’s 2. I get it. 2, I’ve heard is all about the “NO!”. 3 is then all about the attitude. Joy! 2 more years of pissy toddler behavior. And then 2 more from S2 immediately in his heals.

This brings me to my T + teen Theory. It goes something like this: any age that starts with T or ends in teen is a bad age… except for 10. I don’t hear many parents complaining about their 10-year olds.

So… someone want to tell me why Xanax is not a de-facto prescription for child caregivers?

From G and S’ first soccer class last Sat

Coach Lowe. Who kept referring to herself in the 3rd person the whole time. Made for some confused parents.

He did have a good time. I promise!

Yeah, you can tell a true athlete from the rest when they suck on a finger and hold Daddy’s hand during drills.

Foot on the ball.

Drills.

First goal.

Smoothie reward after a hard workout.

G has taken to not only licking his fists, but seeing just how much of them he can shove in his mouth. Sometimes he tries to stick them in so deep I worry he’ll gag himself… except that his facial expressions are so funny to observe, as he does it, that I rarely stop him. Besides, he’s gotta find his own limits, right?

It’s pretty cute and hilarious to watch. See for yourself!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAd_RUBvsFM]

Occasionally he’ll raise both hands to his mouth, lick one, then the other, then try to get both in there to give them equal time. All this while his eyes kinda criss-cross as he tries to watch them go in. I’ve been trying to take video of this, but I’m never fast enough with the camera to get it.

Yeah, good times! Only bad side effect to this are what his hands smell like after awhile. Lets just say that it’s a little fresh in those little tight fists, and wipes these days are coming in handy on more than just his rear.

Every year we brine our Turkey Day bird. I put it in breast-side down overnight and then the next day we rotate it.

Today I kinda forgot, so as I was showering and thinking about the rest of my dinner prep I panicked. S came in to check in on me, w/ G strapped in the carrier so I asked:

“Hon, would you mind please flipping the bird?”

I’ll give you one guess S’ gesture response at this point.

“Fine! I meant the other bird.”

As he was laughing S proceeded to repeat the same gesture with his other hand.

“The third bird.”

Finally having a partner in crime, S decided that it’s a good idea to transition to G’s little hands. Yeah, good luck prying those boxing fists open, buddy!

“Go flip the turkey please!”

At this point S headed out murmuring “I love that we do this every year!” Yep. Apparently I fall for this every year, and every year I forget. So this is now my mental note: next year ask to flip the “turkey”, not just a generic “bird”.

Oh, and Happy Turkey Day!

Post by S

I spent the afternoon trying to edit the video from our Flip Video camera. I’m still on the fence about this camera. It’s small, super easy to use, but very limited. They’ve tried to make it so easy to use that you can’t do much with the video. But I tried to put together clips from the different videos we took over the last week. I think from now on, I’ll try taking the raw files from the camera and editing them in a different program.

But for now here are some clips of G:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teopoWzLBDU]