Gametes In Love

I am really struggling with avoiding comparisons between our two sons. I want to look at them and treat them as their own individuals (which they are), but it’s been hard not to compare these past 24 weeks (as a matter of fact I’ve already failed on this one), and I wonder how I’ll stop myself from doing it for the rest of their lives.

I’ll admit, in many ways, I am going into parenting S2 and blind as I was with G. I had grand visions of things I would do (or wouldn’t do) with G that turned out to be flat opposites. NOW I take for granted the things that worked with G that I’m blindly thinking will also work for S2. Things like swaddling, liking the swing, the whitenoise, preferring nursing over formula … sleeping in the nursery early on. What if it’s the opposite? What if he hates swaddling and insists on sleeping with us? Some of these things, honestly scare the crap out of me. I felt like every time we got used to G’s routine something new came up to tackle. I fear having to re-learn how to be a mommy to a newborn, or a 3 month old, or a one year old all over again.

Parenting styles aside, I still do feel guilty about comparing. I fear the phrase “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” escaping my lips more than you can imagine. I don’t want G to feel like he has to be a role model, any more than I feel that S2 has to follow in his brother’s footsteps. I want them to make the decisions that are right for them. If they happen to be similar: great. I just don’t want to push them in that direction. At the same time if they want to do things together as they grow older, I don’t want to stop them from it either. I just want them to feel in control. With our parental guidance that is.

So this has been my latest irrational fear. I hope come November, this will be a distant and silly worry. Or maybe I’ll come to terms that comparison is a given and feel less guilty about it.

How far along: 23 weeks
Weight: 135.2 lb
Sleep: Good
Gender: Boy
Movement: Yep. He doesn’t like music with fast beats, but enjoys more mellow tunes. Moby was a hit this week.
Feeling: Good. I’m going to be meeting with a chiropractor for a bit, so hopefully that will help with the back achies
What I miss: Sleeping on my tummy. It wasn’t until being at the chiro office lying face down that I realized how good just being able to go face down feels right now
Weekly Wisdom: I came to the realization this week that I really need enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible, and cherish the little things. This will be my last pregnancy, and all the things I’ve been taking for granted and even noted as nuisances will be missed. So I’m trying to really enjoy the fun stuff, like the baby moves, and focus less on the crummy feelings.
Milestones: S can feel S2 on the outside now. We’re trying to get G to feel belly movement too, but he’s not patient enough to want to keep his hand on my belly and wait for his brother to do something.
Food cravings: Still craving watermelon, and still averted to pork.
Fetal development:
Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With his sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that he’s more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see him squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby’s increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing him for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won’t faze him when he hears them outside the womb.

Have you ever filled out a new patient form for a doctors office and paused at some of the questions you were asked? And I don’t mean paused in a “I don’t remember” kind of way. I mean more in a “What the $&$^#^?” kind of way.

Well, I was filling out a patient form ahead of a chiropractic appointment I have set in the morning when I came across the following question:

“What caused this complaint or how did you do it?”

I responded simply “Pregnancy” while doing my best to keep my smart-ass in check. Why? Because here’s what I really wanted to say:

“Well, you see, when a man and a woman REALLY like each other they do this ‘hug’…”

I also contemplated drawing some stick-figure pictures. (Although in my case drawing me in stirrups with 4 people around me might have confused them)

However, I was only given one line (and a quarter) to respond, so I just kept it simple 🙂

My inner 13-year old really wants out.

How far along: 22 weeks
Weight: 134.2lb
Sleep: Good
Gender: Boy
Movement: Yep. S2 is a wiggly one.
Feeling: Good. My energy level is OK, but my ability to be on my feet is getting limited.
What I miss: Nothing right now
Weekly Wisdom: Pee before bed. Otherwise bad dreams happen.
Milestones: My belly-button popped out.
Food cravings: I was craving watermelon and Pearl tea pretty badly on Friday. I got lucky and had both yesterday.
Fetal development:
At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he’s even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you’d be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he’ll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

My belly button is becoming an outie 🙁

I really like my innie. No offense to you outie folk, but I really, REALLY prefer my innie.

I’m 21 weeks in and the poking out is starting to scare me a bit. I’ve been joking saying that I know I’m done baking when my belly button pops out. Well S2 had better NOT decide to run for the exit anytime soon. He has an open invitation to join the party in 19 weeks (and preferably no sooner).

Enforcing the saying that every pregnancy is different, the pregnancy-faerie is having some fun with my joints. I feel pretty stiff and in quite a bit of  pain from time to time. I have good days and not so good days, and the fact that I feel so stiff and achy mid-way through pregnancy, I fear,
does not bode well for me come October and November.

I’m acknowledging that I need help… of the exercise variety.

While pregnant with G, I started meeting with a personal trainer twice a week from week 13 on. Plus I was in decent shape when I got pregnant. Now, it’s been two+ years later, with no regular exercise to speak of. And sadly, my body can tell.

So I joined a prenatal exercise class. It meets twice a week, which is perfect and it’s close to home. It’s low impact, but still gets me moving and doing things I won’t on my own. The woman who leads it is a doula and childbirth educator, which is an interesting bonus, but not a personal trainer by any means, which in a minus. Luckily through all my previous sessions with a PT I know what’s a bad idea to do, so I can watch myself to prevent injury. Her sessions are exercise plus added childbirth/pregnancy/what’s on your mind conversations. It’s entertaining at the least.

I’m hoping that introducing some exercise in my life right now will help loosen up those muscle cob-webs and get rid of the joint pain. But above all else, I’m hoping that my c/s recovery will also be made easier. I really want to feel the same way as after G: no pain meds and walking around with ease days after surgery.

A girl can hope, right?

How far along: 21 weeks
Weight: 131.4lb
Sleep: Good. I’ve now arrived at the point where I can’t sleep on my back anymore. It’s making sleeping a it more limited, but ok.
Gender: Still boy.
Movement: S2 is definitely a mover. He’s not a rediculous wiggle worm, actually he’s quite mellow… just a lot more willing to let me know when he’s swimming around that his brother did. It will be interesting to see how he takes advantage of his temporary home in the new few weeks.
Feeling: Good overall. I have moments of feeling sore and stiff, and those aren’t good, but are controllable for now. I’m just really ready for another pre-natal massage. I’m a little worried that the last few months of this pregnancy I won’t be very comfortable. I feel a little fortunate that we’ll be in cold season though at that time, and at least I won’t be hot AND uncomfortable.
What I miss: Nothing comes to mind
Weekly Wisdom: A pillow in between the knees makes sleep a lot better. Also stone fruit. It’s good for you 🙂
Milestones: No major milestones this week, but I just realized that my last trimester is only a month away. Holy cow!
Food cravings: I’m starting to crave sweets again.
Fetal development:
Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like he’s practicing martial arts as his initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to his activity as you get to know him better. In other developments, your baby’s eyebrows and lids are present now.

That would be G.

S and I have started planning out G’s room, and with all the things he’ll be taking with him (from the nursery), we’re putting together a list of things we’ll need for S2. At first our list only had 2-3 items on it (hey, having a same-gender sibling is really helping out here), but the more we thought of things, the more we realized we’ll need some duplicates (2 white-noise machines, 2 humidifiers, 2 small space heaters). So we’re trying to “save” some money and take advantage of registry completion coupons.

So G and I went yesterday afternoon and created a registry for his baby brother. I genuinely think he enjoyed it more. He took the scanner and wouldn’t let go.

Actually it was kind of fun. I held onto items, and he had to point, keep the laser steady and hold down the scanner button. Yes, it took maybe 3x longer than if I did it on my own, but he was happy, and S got some stuff done at home.

My only concern? G was pointing at things all over the place and clicking on that yellow button all the time. I only wondered what was going to end up on the registry when we got home. Luckily, he didn’t manage to scan anything other than what we did together. Of course, he did try to scan himself a few times too. Maybe when S and I told him we were going to shop for babies he took it seriously…

PS. If you want a good week-end past-time, when a local store has a baby sale, go in and ask a sales-person for a baby. Preferably one that looks like you. It’s most effective when you keep a straight face. You get some really great looks. S and I really enjoyed this one.

How far along: 20 weeks
Weight: 131.8lb. I guess S2 hit a little growth spurt the last two weeks. I’m really being hard(er) on myself this pregnancy because I know it will be our last. I’ll be honest, while I lost all the weight I gained with G, I was never comfortable with how I looked afterward. I’m not interested in looking like a super model. I just want to look “healthy”. Granted, I could’ve eaten better, and I did barely any exercise to speak of, neither of which helped. But I want to do better this time around.
Sleep: Still good.
Gender: BOY! It’s officially official, and I’ve got photos of the baby goods to prove it. Thankfully, S2 was not shy.
Movement: Yes. Last Sunday I was starting to feel some nudges that at least were in the area where S2 is currently residing. I just needed to be sure that it was him and not… well… gas. But now, it’s clear. It’s him shifting in there. So far he’s pretty mellow, but there’s always a chance he’ll pick up the pace of kicks in the next few weeks.
Feeling: Good.
What I miss: Nothing. I’m feeling good and happy.
What I am looking forward to: S and G being able to feel the kiddo too. He gave us a nice butt-poke this afternoon (well, butt/head… who can tell right now), but it will be neat to be able to feel him from the outside.
Weekly Wisdom: I’ve got nothing right now.
Milestones: Officially halfway baked.
Food cravings: Nothing in particular, but I’m hungry about ever 2.5-3 hours and about as soon as I’m done w/ my “current” meal, I’m already thinking about the next. This bodes not well for aforementioned weight goal 🙂
Fetal development:
Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He’s also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby’s legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the “crown to rump” measurement. After 20 weeks, he’s measured from head to toe.)

He’s swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He’s also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you’ll see it in his first soiled diaper.

Here are some S2 photos from Friday’s u/s. Based on the 3D photo he’ll either like hugs, or will be doing 80’s rapper poses a lot. I hope it’s the former.

I’ve come to the point in pregnancy when while standing straight, if I look down, I can’t see my feet. Now, I can easily lean forward to peek at my toesies, but I just realized that the belly is taking over (in a good way).

Huh. It’s kind of a milestone.