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    Kids’ songs say what?

    Have you ever listened to the lyrics of children’s songs? No, I mean REALLY listened to them? There are many that are really fun and cute, and then there are some that make you want to go “Hmn!”

    Let’s take this one for example: “There’s a hole in the bucket”

    There’s a hole in the bucket,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza
    There’s a hole in the bucket,
    Dear Liza, there’s a hole.

    Then fix it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    Then fix it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, fix it.

    With what shall I fix it,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza?
    With what shall I fix it,
    Dear Liza, with what?

    With a straw, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    With a straw, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, with a straw.

    But the straw is too long,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza
    But the straw is too long,
    Dear Liza, too long

    Then cut it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    Then cut it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, cut it.

    With what shall I cut it,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza?
    With what shall I cut it,
    Dear Liza, with what?

    With an axe, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    With an axe, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, an axe.

    The axe is too dull,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza
    The axe is too dull,
    Dear Liza, too dull

    Then sharpen it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    Then sharpen it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, sharpen it.

    With what shall I sharpen it,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza?
    With what shall I sharpen it,
    Dear Liza, with what?

    With a stone, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    With a stone, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, a stone.

    The stone is too dry,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza
    The stone is too dry,
    Dear Liza, too dry

    Then wet it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    Then wet it, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, wet it.

    With what shall I wet it,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza?
    With what shall I wet it,
    Dear Liza, with what?

    With water, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    With water, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, with water.

    How shall I get it,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza,
    How shall I get it,
    Dear Liza, how shall I?

    In the bucket, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    In the bucket, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, in the bucket.

    There’s a hole in the bucket,
    Dear Liza, dear Liza
    There’s a hole in the bucket,
    Dear Liza, there’s a hole.

    You know what I wanted to do after hearing this? Add another couplet. It goes something like this:

    You’re an idiot, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, dear Henry
    You’re an idiot, dear Henry,
    Dear Henry, an idiot.

    I mean, seriously. Two things strike me about this little ditty: 1) Henry is lazy as all hell; 2) He ain’t all that bright. Obviously he doesn’t want to fix the darn thing, so just fess up an move on. And that Liza is obviously a very patient woman, because if I had to deal with the bum that is Henry he’s be wearing the bucket by the end of that conversation.

    Next up, “Five Little Monkeys”. I had the privilege of getting this stuck in my head yesterday.

    Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
    One fell off and bumped his head
    So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

    Four little monkeys jumping on the bed
    One fell off and bumped his head
    So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

    Three little monkeys jumping on the bed
    One fell off and bumped his head
    So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

    Two little monkeys jumping on the bed
    One fell off and bumped his head
    So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

    One little monkey jumping on the bed
    He fell off and bumped his head
    So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

    No little monkeys jumping on the bed
    None fell off and bumped his head
    So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    Put those monkeys back in bed!

    While I really do love this song, you gotta wonder: when does CPS get called in on the mom? All 5 of her kids have concussions from the same activity and the doctor told her 5 times to not let them do that. Following the rules of our society,verses 3-6 would dissapear and the last verse would end-up changed to:

    No little monkeys jumping on the bed
    CPS came and took them instead
    Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
    I told ya’ not to let them bounce on the bed!

    I think I need to release my own CD. What do you think?

    3 responses to “Kids’ songs say what?”

    1. Kirsten says:

      I love it. Excellent last verse for the monkey song.

    2. Kelly Marie says:

      Hahaha, this cracks me up. I’ve commented to Ben about some of the song lyrics we’ve sung. Some i think…”what does that even mean?!”

      Here is a blog entry you might find amusing. Modern day takes on classic nursery rhymes.

      http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/there-was-an-old-lady-who-lived-in-a-shoe-but-she-is-fine-her-kids-are-too/

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