Gametes In Love

I really want to donate the cord blood from Storm’s delivery. I don’t want to bank it for our use, and I hate the idea of it going to waste (when stem-cells are supposedly in such high demand), so I would really like to donate it. Stem cells collected from cord blood can be used for research. There is ongoing research using stem cells for treatment of diseases such as Alzheimer’s, Cerebral Palsy, Diabetes…

Except identifying a place that will take it has become a royal pain in the rear.

My hospital does not participate in a donation program.
There is only 1 hospital in our area that does, and they do not accept donations from non-patients.
I contacted Stanford to see if they have any ongoing research projects that would want it, and came up with a big fat 0.
Children’s Hospital of Oakland will only accept cord blood from siblings of children already requiring a transplant.
StemCyte only works with hospitals who have a donation program due to FDA regulations.
I’ve left messages for LifebankUSA and Joanne Pang Foundation. I’m also trying to get a hold of SaneronCCEL, but their answering machine has me on an endless loop.
I’m also trying a contact at Genentec, and hoping they might have programs that would be interested.

WHY is this so hard? As far as I’m concerned clinics doing this research should be knocking down OB office doors and asking for fliers to be made available to interested parents. I shouldn’t have to hunt down these organizations. I want to help. It shouldn’t be this hard!

How far along: 34w
Weight: 149lb
Sleep: Some nights great. Others not so much. Last night? Not a great one.
Gender: Nutcrackers give the boys nightmares
Movement: I’m pretty sure S2 is trying to expand my belly sideways. In some respects it’s kind of painful.
Feeling: Sleepy! And stressed out at work. Last week, I had the unfortunate insident of dealing with someone from our Sales team who had clearly decided to ignore my previous recommendations and attempted to pressure us into a commitment I refused to give. This irritated him (bonus for me), but it also sub-consciously made me so upset that I spent my evening with contractions. Go him. I really need to limit my interactions with said individual as much as possible over the next 4 weeks.
Milestones: Did I mention only 4 more weeks of work yet? I called Matrix Absence Management on Friday as it marked 30 days away from my first day off. It felt good!
Food cravings: I’m pretty sure S2 is hugging my stomach in some way and not making me very hungry. So no particular food cravings.
Fetal development:
Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. His fat layers — which will help regulate his body temperature once he’s born — are filling him out, making him rounder. His skin is also smoother than ever. His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are continuing to mature as well.

If you can’t find the bra you wore yesterday, to put in the laundry hamper, look down and make sure you’re not still wearing it. Like perhaps, you just put your PJs right on top and slept in it all night without noticing.

This moment has also been brought to you by: pregnancy brain.

How far along: 33w
Weight: 148lb
Sleep: I’m getting it 🙂
Gender: Can you say testicles?
Movement: It’s slowing down, but what he’s lacking in frequency he’s making up in strength. You can see a good foot sticking off the side of my belly from time to time. Or a bondy baby butt.
Feeling: Good, and tired. I could really use naps now. I’m 5 weeks away from the end of work though, and hopefully I’ll have some ME time at home before S2 arrives to take those naps. Oh, and as a weird feeling experience: the skin of my belly is feeling really numb right around my belly button. What gives?
Food cravings: I haven’t been too hungry lately. It’s interesting: my appetite seems to have subsided, and I can’t eat very much when I do eat. So not much in the craving department… although today I’m really craving some pumpkin pie. All the pumpkin signs around me are very influential 🙂
Fetal development:
This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He’s rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren’t fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don’t entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

I don’t know why but over the last week I’ve gotten a bunch of comments from people that go something like this:

“So you must be due very soon, right?”

When I tell them that I have another month and a half to go, they look at me with bewilderment.

Am I THAT big people? I mean I know I stick out a lot, but I don’t feel that I look disproportionate for a(n almost) 33 week pregnant lady.

I mean, come on: you don’t blame the baker for how tall the souffle rises!

I’ve decided to hold my hang out and ask for a penny every time someone says this expecting a response. I bet I can subsidize S2’s college fund by the end of November.

How far along: 32w
Weight: 147.2lb
Sleep: Not much changed here. I do find it interesting, though, that my pelvic pain is worst and sharpest at night. What’s up with that? I’m not even moving.
Gender: Aw, nuts!
Movement: Still re-inacting Alien… or attempting to anyway.
Feeling: Good, but pissy. It has nothing to do with S2. Just the weather. It’s damn frikkin’ hot and heat + pregnancy = me extra bitchy. Sorry y’all.
What I miss: Right now? Feeling cold. Cool even. And patient. I also miss sleeping on my belly and wine. A chilled Pino Grichio sounds amazing right around now… and I’m not even a big drinker.
Food cravings: Nothing. It’s too damn hot to eat. Could be why I’ve only gained .5lb over last week (although I’m enjoying that part. My weight gain feels well in check thus far)
Fetal development:
By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You’re gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, he’ll gain a third to half of his birth weight during the next 7 weeks as he fattens up for survival outside the womb. He now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). His skin is becoming soft and smooth as he plumps up in preparation for birth.

You will no doubt recall the Bradley method classes S and I attended in preparation to meet G. You will also, no doubt remember his delivery: the hours of active labor, my swelling cervix, the pitocin, G’s transverse position, the cord wrap around his neck, and his rapidly declining heart-rate that all lead to an emergency c-section. Well, if you don’t, I still do. And those memories are really conflicting me on the birth experience I want with S2.

Provided S2 doesn’t decide to go breach, Dr. M is pretty flexible with me trying for a VBAC. The decision is mine to make, and to be honest, right now I’m leaning towards a c-section. While I’m not 100% dedicated to this choice, here’s my thinking behind the vaginal vs. c/s delivery route:

Vaginal delivery PROS:

• Recovery could be faster. I’m not in as good a shape as I was 2 years ago, and while I bounced to “normal” activity levels before I even left the hospital without any pain-meds following my c/s, I can’t count on this being the case this time around too. While a vaginal delivery will leave me sore down under for a week, a slow c/s recovery can leave me hard of walking for much longer.
• This is my last chance for one.
• I would really like an un-medicated birth (and hell no would I consider getting cut open w/o meds)

Vaginal delivery CONS:

• It hurts
• It hurts a HELLA’ve a lot
• I can tear
• A tear will hurt too
• I won’t be able to sit on my bum while
• There’s no guarantee that a vaginal delivery actually WILL happen
• Small chance my uterus could rupture
• I was really upset and disappointing when my med-free attempt ended up in a c/s. I felt like I had failed in some way. If only I had relaxed “more”, perhaps, things wouldn’t have ended up the way they did. It took me a long time to come to terms with this.

C-section delivery PROS:

• I know what to expect
• I might be able to take a nap again during 🙂
• It’s over with quickly
• I get 2 extra weeks of time at home with S2
• No under-carriage tears or other owies
• More dedicated alone bonding time with S2 in the hospital, with the rest of the world locked out

C-section delivery CONS:

• Realistic chance I won’t bounce back quickly
• I’ll be away from G longer (4-5 days in hospital w/ c/s, vs. 1-2 days otherwise)
• I won’t be able to pick up and carry G for awhile, and he’ll likely want that after some sibling jealously kicks in

Really there are 2 parts that lean me very heavily towards a c/s: the physical pain of vaginal delivery and the extra 2 weeks of time at home. The second part is purely financial. There isn’t a spot at daycare for S2 until end of March. Right now, if S2 comes exactly on his due date, we’ll be making it just in time with how much time I can take off. However, if he comes early AND I choose to deliver vaginally it really puts us in a tough spot in having to bridge daycare for the difference. I just can’t handle the idea of putting him in one daycare for a period of time, only to pull him out and bring him to G’s daycare when his spot is available. The transition will be rough as is, and it’s not fair to him, to get him attached to one care provider only to turn around and change everything on him all over again.

Then there’s the physical pain part. Those of you that have gone through labor and have had the privilege to deliver vaginally experienced the joy of holding your baby right away with all the happy hormones following that made all that pain feel worth while. I hope. You got that reward. Me? I didn’t. Instead, I have the pleasure of sporting a 4″ scar on my lower abdomen as a reminder that I spent 9 weeks in a childbirth course that I felt I flunked out of. And the longing for that un-medicated birth I wanted.

If I plan for a vaginal delivery again, and if it doesn’t happen, there won’t be a 3rd time. I will still have the same sadness and longing as before. Still the same feeling of failure as before. PLEASE don’t get me wrong and think that I regret the safe delivery of G in ANY way. I am BEYOND thrilled that he was born healthy and safe and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My emotional hang-ups are not about him: they are about me, and how I feel I did during those hours of labor. The “what ifs”. I worry that if I plan for an un-medicated vaginal birth, and again if fails to happen for us, my feelings of sadness will be worse. If I plan for a c/s, on the other hand, then I won’t be disappointed. It’s a set the bar low kind of plan 🙂 I’m being an emotional wimp as much as a physical wimp.

However, I’m leaving the door open for myself. Dr. M and I have agreed on an unplanned c-section. I will wait to begin labor on my own and then head to the hospital for my c/s. S2 will get to pick his birthday and he’ll bake for as long as he chooses to. Within a limit that is. If he doesn’t come by 11/22 (the day after his due-date), we’re having the c/s then. Why 11/22? It’s the first week-day following his due date, and a few days ahead of Thanksgiving on the 25th. With this approach, I’m figuring if I feel emotionally ready and physically able to take on the pain of labor, I can change my mind about the c/s right then and there and go for it. And if not, well, then it goes as planned.

So there you have it. Call me a wimp. I want a c/s… I think…

How far along: 31w. I have about a month and a half left at work, and that gets me pretty darn excited… and then I think about having an infant, and I freak out.
Weight: 146.6lb
Sleep: Still good. I need to train myself when I gotta go pee, to just do it and not hold it until I can’t stand it anymore. As it turns out, breaking point is between 5:20 and 5:40 am, and I have a hard time going back to sleep after that.
Gender: Still frank and beans.
Movement: Lots. S2 is strong and persistent too. S is amazed at just watching him do flips. Last night I’m pretty sure he was imagining himself at a space station and was just doing flips, to a point where I coulda sworn he was sideways. He’s been head down for awhile, so that would be quite surprising, but still.
Feeling: Overall, good. I’m getting tired again, but my appetite is very subdued. Joints still hurt, but I’m coping.
What I miss: Full night’s sleep without having to get up. I guess I’ll be missing that one for a looong time though, huh?
Food cravings: Sweet stuff
Fetal development:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He’s probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby’s kicks and somersaults keep you up.

If your pants feel a little tight, don’t just assume that your growing body is responsible. Look down and ensure you didn’t put them on backwards. Not inside out. Backwards.

This moment has been brought to you by: pregnancy brain.

How far along: 30w. 30 people!!!! That only 10 more to go.
Weight: 144lb
Sleep: Good. I’ve been sleeping through the night the last few evenings, and it’s been great. Unfortunately, G waking up promptly at 6 hasn’t been helping on the other end.
Gender: No change… I hope
Movement: Still a wiggly monkey. I’m actually pretty convinced S2 is practicing the head-spin break-dancing move in my belly. If there was a way a to get a camera in there, I’d prove it.
Feeling: Good. I’m sleeping well, feeling hungry within reason, and not overly tired. However, the Relaxin is really kicking in these last few days and my hips are really getting stretched out. I feel like someone kicked my in the crotch and I’m still recovering from the soreness. Yeah, for those of you that haven’t had the pleasure of feeling what Relaxin does to you, it’s the best analogy I can come up with.
What I miss: G seems to want to be carried around more these days. Or maybe he doesn’t, but my discomfort makes me feel that way. I miss being able to pick him up without thinking twice about whether it would hurt. I miss my general snuggles with him. Between fear of kicks to the belly, aches to the back, I feel like I’m not being there 100% for him, physically.
Food cravings: More watermelon. More sugar.
Fetal development:
Your baby’s about 15.7 inches long now, and he weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds him, but that volume will decrease as he gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. His eyesight continues to develop, though it’s not very keen; even after he’s born, he’ll keep his eyes closed for a good part of the day. When he does open them, he’ll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means he can only make out objects a few inches from his face.