Gametes In Love

Post by S

Maybe a better title is “My brain is shrinking”.

A little back story is needed to start this post. When we started down the road to parenthood A gave me a book, “The Expectant Father“. I, of course, read it cover to cover. No really, I did. It was just over a year ago. It’s a great book that goes over the pregnancy month by month with sections like “What Going On with Your Partner”, “What’s Going On with the Baby”, and “What’s going On with You”.

Since it’s been a while, I still pick up the book and read the relevant Month’s chapter – typically I read the chapter in bed. As I read the chapters, I like to think that I’m learning something that A doesn’t already know. I now realize that this feeling is completely ridiculous. After A has read a few books and some very detailed posts on the Nest, there is really no new information that my single little book is going to reveal. But she usually just lets me ramble about random statements while she is actually tuning me out.

As I’m reading the chapter for the 6th Month, I decide to read out loud so I can school A in some new information! Maybe she would like to know more about “A Few Positively Odd Things Your Partner Might be Experiencing”.  So here is what I was reading, out loud:

if your partner has been forgetful lately, or seems to be losing a lot of things — including her memory — it may be because her brain is shrinking.

A looks up and gives me an evil eye. So I continue reading while thinking that I’m sharing some info that will help her explain some of the Baby Brain episodes. I may even earn some ‘good husband’ points!

Yep. Anita Holdercroft, an English anesthesiologist, found that during pregnancy, women’s brains actually get 3 to 5 percent smaller.

A is still staring at me, this time the stare is more intense, so I keep reading (out loud remember):

Now that you know this, it’s probably best that you  keep it to yourself. After all, there’s really no nice way to tell someone that her brain is shrinking.

Of course, I stop reading out loud at that point. And A asks, “Who’s brain is shrinking?”

I think I was just experiencing some sympathy brain shrinkage. But one thing’s for sure, we won’t be having any more reading out loud story time with the baby books.

At week 20 we are now halfway to “evicting Baby G from his current habitat” (S’ words). In some ways it feels like this time has flown by, and in others as if it has just dragged on. I suppose when you average it out we are moving along at just the right speed.

I celebrated this milestone by wrapping up our baby registry. S and I are looking at this registry more as a personal shopping TODO than anything else. I’d like to think it’s pretty detail oriented (it has Q-tips on it, to give you an idea), but I’m sure come “Bring baby home” day, S will be making several store trips.
I created two lists: one at Target and one at Babies”R”Us. I will say that doing this has taken far more effort than I anticipated. I’ve spent a week researching what a baby is recommended to have, assembling one of our infamous Excel sheets, reading Consumer Reports and online reviews, and painstakingly clicking on “Add to Registry” link after link. I also learned the art of the scanning machine. There are some items you just can’t decide on over the internet, you just have to go and see them in person. It is so easy to go overboard with this thing: now I understand how people end up with “Chocolate Syrup” on their wedding registries: you see it, you scan it, you move on. Don’t worry though: I’d like to think I did pretty good. I went into the store w/ an exact list of what I wanted to accomplish — it’s hard to do impulse shopping when it’s not on the list.

Baby G has also been rewarding me for my accomplishments by moving around more. I am definitely feeling him in there! It took some time convincing myself that this was what I am in fact feeling, but now I’m convinced. I think I’ve narrowed down his movements to two types of sensations: the general one, and the more localized one. I’ve been having a hard time verbalizing to both S and myself what it feels like. This is amusing to me, because when I asked others to explain it, I received such vague descriptions that made me just nod and go “Uh-huh, oh…. okay…”. I had sworn to myself that I will be able with such eloquence to express the sensation, that everyone immediately understand…. and now I’m at a loss for words.

The “general” motion for me feels like stomach cramps when you are gassy. Your stomach kinda churns for a second, “hardens” and then it goes away.
The “localized” one is stranger. It appears in a “surprise” location each time… within the lower abdominal limits (of course). It feels like a very gentle poke… or at least gentle for now.

That’s right: I’m sure you are now too nodding your heads and thinking “U-huh, oh… ok”. I don’t blame you — I wish I could do better!

All these sensations make me really wish I had a TiVo for my body. It makes me want to pause and replay, because the feeling is so bizzare I want to re-live and analyze it more.

So now with the registry TODO out of the way the next big item is finding a day care provider. I am genuinely dreading this part! I’m stalling on this task because I just have a feeling it will be really tidious and will take forever. I’m really glad that our friends A&B (who are also expecting just a few weeks behind us) want to do a nanny-share with us. I’m hoping that a divide and conquer approach will help, but it’s still so scary to me. Between the stories of monthly costs, waiting lists that require entry at the moment of conception, I’m a little scared at what we’re going to find.
You think work will mind if G begins working there full time come January of next year? One salary for two people sounds like a deal, if you ask me! In addition, some of the questions and comments I get from our clients are just as eloquent as what our son will be able to provide at that age 🙂

I “think” I might be feeling the baby move… either that or I have gas… which is also very likely. Feels about the same, yet different in a strange way.

Time will tell.

Patience is a virtue (or so I’m told), so you’ll have to read on to find out!

A few months ago I had a dream that my parents had a baby lion for a pet and they needed me to take care of it while they were away. It was Halloween though and my sister had it dressed up as a Gryphon… wings and all. Now as you recall, Griffin is our top boy name pick, so since that morning, I’ve been just about convinced that we were going to have a boy. Was I right?

Our appointment today was primarily to focus on ensuring that all is well with the baby’s development. They measured the heart and its chambers, the abdomen, the length of its legs and arms, its head, looked at the spine and the lips (checking for cleft lip), and all of its little baby parts. All looks well! We have a perfectly, perfect little… baby!

S and I waited patiently for the tech to take all of the necessary measurements. She talked us through it though, so at least we didn’t have to guess and worry about what was going on in silence. We were thrilled that all looked well, but just wanted to hear the verdict: which one of us will be escorting this child to the bathroom?

I had to use a mirror to look at the monitor. Not the most comfortable of things, but I still got to see our munchkin’s face

and profile

Oh… and of course… THE GOODS!

That’s right. We’re having a BOY! Our son wiggled a ton, just about gave the tech carpal tunnel for having to follow him around with the wand, but cooperated. The doctor came in afterwards for another peak and confirmed it. She said that with a shot like the above, she would be really concerned with her detection skills if this child came out to be a girl.

It’s interesting that either way, I would have been happy just to know. Now, I get to say phrases like “our son”. It’s strange. It’s cool. It’s frightening. It’s awesome!!!
I have no clue what to do with boys! I’ve never been a girlie girl and always preferred playing with boys. Some of my best friends are boys, but I know how to hang out with them… not how to teach them to use the potty.

Either way, I have months to prepare for the basics and years to learn the rest.

So… get ready for Baby Griffin (referred to as Baby G going forward)!

S can relax now though: he doesn’t have to buy a shotgun in preparation for date nights 🙂

We went out for dinner tonight to our favorite Italian restaurant. When we lived in the city, their SF location was two blocks away from our place so we were there quite frequently and got to know the owners (and they us) pretty well. Since we moved away they shut down their SF location and focused on the two others they had in the Bay Area. As such we don’t see them as often, but we do go a few times a year.

Tonight was the first time we’d been there since the early days of our BFP. It’s clear now that they are some changes in our life to come. The owners were thrilled for us and we spent a good time tonight catching up with them. What was funny, though, was one of their comments : “Oh, NOW we know what you two have been up to! [wink]” at which point I couldn’t help but smile, and nod, but in the back of my head think:
“Lady… you have no idea!”

I am dumbfounded by how much my body has changed over the last 4 months. I look at my belly, which is awesome by the way, asking myself where all this extra skin has come from? I mean who knew that in such a short period of time this thing can keep growing, and growing, and did I mention growing? It’s phenomenal!

I’ve been weighing myself pretty regularly ever since we started this process. Depending on how you look at it, I’ve either gained 12 or 14 lbs since this process started. At the “first day of my last period” I was 12lbs lighter than I am today. However, I lost about 2 lbs prior to the retrieval, so you can argue I’m 14lbs heavier now. It’s a little higher than I’d like to be coming up on the mid-point of the pregnancy. I was hoping for an overall 20lb gain, but this is looking like I might be closer to 30. On the bonus side the weight seems to be going entirely to my mid section, which makes me feel a bit better.

I’ve come to terms with my new wardrobe. This wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, and physically showing now to the world has helped me get over all the cute jeans and shirts (I own) that I won’t be fitting into the very near future. Last week I had to give up my boots. This was in fact a sad day. My belly is now protruding quite noticeably, changing the stress points on my body, and standing in high heels is certainly not helping that. So I had to get some flats. I’m now 3 inches shorter, but my back is a much happier being.

There are other things about pregnancy I find strangely cute:

• Putting socks on is not the same anymore. Obviously I can’t bend my legs up the same way because Belly is in the way. I wonder if I’ll come to a point where socks will no longer be an option.
• Rocking myself out of a vehicle will soon be the only way out. We live up on a hill. When S drives, I have to get out on the side of the sidewalk, and it’s amazing how much those 4 inches of sidewalk can make a difference on the leverage and momentum you have while getting out of a car…. especially when doing it against gravity. Sigh — these are the starting moments of my “penguinism” future.
• People now give me their chairs. In a meeting earlier this week, I walked into a packed conference room. I mean, people were already sitting on the floor. Perfectly content to do the same, I headed to the back of the room, where a group of gentlemen immediately went into a scurry of who was going to give up their seat. I found it both sweet and hurtful at the same time. Hard to explain on the second part: I felt like I am still able to take care of myself and didn’t need their pity. At the same time also really relieved and happy that I work around people that care. Then about 30 minutes into the meeting I was thrilled I wasn’t still standing, nor were my butt-cheeks falling asleep while sitting on the hard floor. Yep, feel free to give me your chair any time.

I haven’t felt the baby move yet, which is a little disappointing, but also a good reminder that this baby is in control of it’s development and that my impatience needs to conform to it’s schedule and not the other way around.

We find out the gender next week. I think it’s a boy. My mom does too. S goes back and forth, and I’ve had several people tell me it will be a girl. All in all, pretty even. Well, I guess we’ll find out in just a few days.

Eh, I thought you might.

Here’s some sounds of what our baby’s up to. We recorded this using our newest toy: the Doppler.

If I’m counting correctly we’ve got a good 152bmp thumper in there.

We had an appt. w/ our OB today. Nothing scary – this is my regularly scheduled visit.

S and I came to the office and I stood at the front desk to check in. This elderly lady took my name and crossed me off the list. We had our standard insurance card conversation, after which she said “When you’re ready you can give us your sample!” and then walked away. I assumed that she was going to get the “stuff” for whatever “sample” I needed to provide, and explain further, but she came back empty handed and proceeded to talk to the other receptionist.

I cleared my throat and said “Excuse me, did you say “sample”? What kind of sample?”.
In my mind I’m thinking “Blood sample? Urine sample?… Handwriting sample?….”
She then looked up with this confused look “You’ve been here before?”
“Yes, I have.” I’ve been in this office for 2 prior visits, last being my little emergency stop two weeks ago. In my defense, a sample was not requested in my previous two visits.
She then looked at me and said sloooweeer and LOUDER! “So when you’re ready, just provide a sample” (as if repeating herself verbatim was going to resolve the situation).
“Yes, but of what?”

This was going no-where fast. We were clearly running around in circles.
S is behind me also perplexed, but at the same time giggling.

Luckily at this point the nurse practitioner walked up and asked me to go back.
I apologized for being dense, and explained I had no issue providing a sample, as long they told me what they really wanted from me. Without blinking an eye “Pee!” she said. “Can you do it now?”

I’m pregnant! At this stage I can just about produce this on demand.

How hard was it to just say so? It’s a doctor’s office. There must be at least 20 ways to ask for pee, at least one of which could clearly be illustrated through interpretive dance.

Aaah… that’s my funny for the day.

Oh… and the appointment went fine. Baby’s good!

Mondays are my busiest days of the week. It’s nothing but meetings back-to-back. Today I had the pleasure of starting my day with my first conference call at 8:00am only to transition to more meetings lasting through 5pm. Luckily I stole away 15 minutes to go grab lunch. As I was ordering my “to-go” sandwich I saw that I had missed a call on my mobile. I also immediately saw an SMS pop-up. It was S telling me that the clinic that did our integrated screening called, and I should call them back. This could have meant one of two things:

1. Integrated screening results are in, or
2. They needed to reschedule my follow-up ultrasound.

It was the first! I was a little surprised because, honestly, I wasn’t expecting their call until the end of this week.

I walked out of the cafeteria on the way back to my desk trying to balance my sandwich bag, bottle of water, banana and yogurt (yep pregnant chicks eat a lot, although the last two were my afternoon snacks) while dialing the clinic. I had 5 minutes to make this call. It was probably good that I was rushing to yet another meeting, because at least I had no time to worry if the news would be good or bad. The woman I needed to speak with picked up the phone… then I kind of froze: it had hit me what I was about to hear. I needed to sit down.

The integrated screening we had done tested for Trisomy 21 and Trisomy 18. Both are chromosomal abnormalities which cause Down Syndrome, mental retardation or other various medical problems. Few babies with Trisomy 18 survive more than a few months following birth.

But the news was good! For both of the above my risk factor for having either abnormality is 1/10,000. That’s 99.99% chance that our baby will be just perfect. Additionally we have a 1/2,100 risk factor for our child having an open spinal chord defect. This, I was told, is also the lowest risk bracket. All in all this doesn’t mean that we are in the clear: after all it’s not a diagnostic test, but these are odds I can happily live with.

The rest of my day, I have to tell you, has gone just fine! Granted, I’ve been dealing with the shake-out of a rough last week, but all of a sudden now everything else that I’m dealing with feels so much less important. This is probably the best news I’ll get in a long while.

Now I’m ready to feel the baby move! Bring it on 🙂