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    1 week old

    November 9th, 2010

    As of yesterday, Little Dude is one week old. Big brother is also on the mend, following 3 days of 102+ fever and is finally able to go back to daycare today.

    I can’t believe a week has passed already. I feel like I’m already missing the chance to document so much: S2’s little kitten sounds when he stirs, or his cries. Newborn cries are just so… small. I remember with G, every one of his cries felt like they were heard by the whole world. Now with S2, I wonder how I manage to wake-up, they seem so quiet. Quiet in comparison to G (today), that is. And pictures. Dear Lord, do I need to take more pictures.

    S2 is above birth weight now. He’s 6lb 12.5oz. I have reprieve from our lactation consultant NOT to wake him up in the middle of the night to feed anymore. For my comfort I can wake up to pump; let him sleep, but dose him up on calories during the day. She also did something pretty cool for us. She told us of the growth spurt schedule we’re about to encounter. I had known about the 3 week and 6 week growth spurts (the 6w one being my most brutal w/ G), but we’ve learned of another: one that happens between 9 and 11 days of life, lasting about 3 days. While ominous, it’s at least kind of good to know about this so that 1) we can expect it; 2) know it will be over soon enough. I’m told to expect nursing once an hour (yey for sore boobs), and then when it’s all over, a day of hibernation for Little Dude.

    Good news is that S2, for now, is sleeping OK. We have about 3 nursing sessions between 9pm and 6am. The second night home he nursed every hour, which sucked, but the last 2 nights have been good. I feel relatively rested. He’s a poop machine, and I’ve discovered that he, too, enjoys a clean bowl. As soon as dirty diaper is changed, he is very happy to squirt out some new deposits. You can hear this 🙂

    Meanwhile, G is doing OK. I think after today we can end our home quarantine. He’s being good around his brother, but his temper is extremely… volatile. He’s extra whiny. Everything is NO, and we have tantrums thrown left and right over extremely small things. Case in point: S was re-assembling one of our bouncers for S2. G saw this and wanted to “I helper”. He carried over the screw-driver and 1) refused to give it up to S, insisting he would screw in the little bolts himself; 2) went nuts when he didn’t know what to do and the bolt wouldn’t go in. He just wouldn’t accept help. It also sucks for me, because if I want to comfort him, he wants “Uppie” and I can’t pick him up. How do you tell your 2 year old, with tears in his eyes that you just can’t pick him up? I sit down on the ground with him and try to get him to sit in my lap, but it’s not what he wants, and he feels I’ve only made it worse. It’s sad. I’m certain I’ll cave at some point and start carrying him around earlier than I should, but after having lived through one hernia (and associated surgery), I’m trying to remind myself that 1 month of not being able to pick-up my toddler, will be better than a later surgery when I won’t be able to pick up either needy child.

    But G is a little better with me now too. For awhile he wouldn’t really talk to me, but now we’re back to our “My Mamma!” / “My Fiffin” exchange: this is his equivalent to saying “I love you!”. He’s still all about Daddy right now, and wants S for everything. My mom is more than happy to help, but G right now just wants dad. I’ll be honest, I haven’t tried to discourage this at all, mostly on account of the viral infection. But now that we’re past that hump, I really need (and want) to make an effort to spend some 1:1 time with him.

    So, all this might seem drastic and sad, but actually I think we’re doing really well. I’m feeling relaxed and in control. I managed to get out of the house yesterday too. Twice! And I’m not counting doctor appointments here. Today, I will even shower! (Yeah, it’s better if you don’t ask when the last time that happened was) I’m barely taking any Motrin, which is the only pain med I’ve been on post-surgery, and I’m moving around pretty well. I’m down 15 lbs over what I weighed a week ago, but I know that the rest of the baby weight (and belly) will be the hardest to let go of (both physically and emotionally). What I’m saying is that my post-partum recovery so far is going well here and I’m feeling strong.

    With that, here are a few S2 pics:

    PS. Remind me, if I ever want to do posed newborn shots, what a major pain they are. There’s a lot of waiting involved, and nursing, and more waiting. To take those few shots, it took me over 2 hours. I did them while we were still in the hospital (mostly because I wanted to send S2’s birth announcement to print before we were discharged). My setup looked something like this. Those hospital beds with their ability to raise up are actually pretty sweet.

    Ok, now I’m really, really done 🙂


    Our first 24 hours

    November 6th, 2010

    Our first night at home was, in a word, rough. I won’t say miserable, because there are many ways it could have been much worse.

    The night before we were to be discharged my mom called to tell me G was feeling pretty warm. He was running a low-grade fever of 101. We dosed him up with Tylenol and he went to sleep. I was hoping that this was only another teething bout. Alas, the next morning G woke up with a fever of 102. A trip to the pedi later, he had a confirmed viral infection. It was an excellent “Welcome Home!” gift for S2. I hate seeing my little dude so miserable, but I also know that infants and fevers don’t mix either, so S and I were devising creative ways to keep our kids apart. I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) just ship G off to get well somewhere outside of our home for a few reasons: 1) where would he go? My parents live a 6hr drive away (not to mention that my mom is with us now). S’ family is even further away; 2) I don’t want to give G the impression that now that he has a little brother he needs to be sent away (older model out, newer version in); 3) where else, but at home, would you feel most comforted to get well? All his toys are here, his bed is here. He gets well HERE.

    Needless to say, the brotherly bonding I had hoped for our sons is delayed, yet again.

    So S2 and I (mostly on account of boob necessity) stayed mostly in the nursery, G had free roam of the house as usual, and there was no brotherly contact (one of the rare times I am grateful that G is just not a PDA type of kid). Hand washing and sanitizing at every kid contact.

    Then bed-time came. G went down all-right. S2 got settled in his crib about 8:30. I went to bed and crashed out… until S got me at 11 because S2 was hungry. Get up to feed the baby. Go back to sleep. At 1, feed call again. Go back to bed. S relieves me w/ S2 rocking duty, and as soon as I hit the bed, G wakes up crying. Joy. I get him settled, walk into our bedroom, lie down, and G is up again. S goes in with G for the night, and I take S2 wake-ups for the rest of the evening. It was the best arrangement possible, actually. Finally after our 2am feed, after my tail-bone officially protested the duration I spent in our glider, I caved and brought S2 in bed with me. You have to know that this is a big deal for me. I hate co-sleeping with infants. HATE it! While I love baby cuddles, I am beyond paranoid about my ability to sleep with my kid next to me. I know it works for others, but while I sleep (and, yes, sleep better than in a glider), it’s not good restful sleep. I wake up with every whimper. I am frozen into a single position, afraid to move. Afraid that I’d roll on top of my kid. Since S was now sleeping in G’s room, I cleared out a spot for S2 in our bed away from blankets, pillows and the like. I put S2 down. As it turns out S2 is a “I wanna be close to you” kind of kid. Every time I put him within inches away from me, he would inch worm, so that his head would be touching some portion of my body. It was sweet. It was terrifying. He also doesn’t like being laid down flat (one of a few reflux predictors we’ve gotten by the way). So more or less, S2 slept on top of my arm all night. At 5am, the longest sleep-stretch of the night, I woke up and started to pump. Pump, because at that point, I’m engorged, and S2 just falls asleep, which only wakes him up sooner, and I hurt for the rest of the morning. I fed him at 5:30, and we went back to sleep, until 7:30am when I heard S starting to run around the house.

    Pedi follow-up at 9:30. Get out of bed a little before 8. Feed baby. Get dressed. Leave the house a little shy of 9.

    On the bonus, side, S2’s appointment went very well. He’s now 6lb 9oz. 1oz shy of birth weight. His height in 19.5, which leads me to believe the hospital measured him wrong: I just don’t see anyone growing an inch and a half in 5 days. And his head is up 1/2″.

    Back home, G is in a good mood. Fever is lower.

    So yeah, it’s been a bit of a tiring day. I’m hoping tomorrow will be better (and healthier) for us all.

    One thing I want to mention. My mom’s presence has been really awesome. It’s great to have another adult in the house. I took a 15 min nap this afternoon. S could look after S2, and my mom had G. And they swapped. She’s been making us some awesome food, and has even cleaned up our home. It feels awesome.

    A girl can get used to being spoiled like this.


    Yes, I have granny-panties on my baby registry. What of it?

    November 5th, 2010

    Why yes, I am aware of the Emily Post 2nd-child-baby-shower-is-a-no-no etiquette. However, nowhere does it say that you shouldn’t try and save money when you’re acquiring essentials beyond your first-born. And you know what? Some of the big name stores send you completion coupons for items not purchased off your baby registry. It’s no free shopping spree, but enough to convince me to register. Hey, if I’m going to buy a second humidifier anyway, why not save 10% off of it?

    I found it amusing how different this registry was over G’s. G had all the cutesy baby items: rattles, blankets, clothes. S2 on the other hand? Bottle nipples, space heater, baby drugs, and underpants. Yes, you got that right: undies. For ME. Plain, comfy, and cheap. Knowing that I’m about to get 9 months of my period in a row, I wanna live in something that I won’t regret ruining  and will easily fit the you-can-suck-the-Nile-dry absorption-grade pads I have to wear.

    I had to call the store the other week to follow-up on my missing completion coupon, and the guy on the other side had to access my registry to see what was going on. I wonder if he was perplexed over why our baby picks resembled the shopping list of an undergrad college student vs. that of a giddy expecting mom. But you know what? Once you’ve been through it before, and you know what you really need, you don’t judge.

    And yes,  I am giddy over the thought of new Hanes hipsters.


    Things I WON’T miss about pregnancy

    November 4th, 2010

    Well, now that it’s over, I’ve started thinking about all the things I won’t be missing about being pregnant. My belly time with S2 has been cool, and I was NOT ready for it to be over. This pregnancy, being my last, I will miss in many ways, but here’s what I won’t:

    – morning sickness
    – constipation. Apparently when things don’t come up the front door (see #1 above), they don’t find their way to the rear exit. Either way, it’s a LOT of bonding time with the porcelain friend. I’ve learned to bring my iPhone with me and listen/watch podcasts
    – falling asleep with your eyes open in the middle of the day
    – hip pain
    – round ligament pain
    – pelvic bone pain
    – all the things that swell down under. Sometimes I felt I was giving Baboons a run for their money
    – hand achy-ness from being swollen. Let’s just say I’ve never had a desire to have my hands look like those of the Michelin man. I’m swollen now too, post surgery IV, but at least that’s getting better
    – swollen legs & feet (notice a swelling theme here?). I wore boots a few weeks ago and when I took then off, my legs had swollen & conformed to shape of the boot wrinkles. It was cool, and gross all at the same time. Wavy calves: not sexy
    – not being able to cut my toenails easily
    – lack of patience/energy when it comes to being with my toddler… although infant sleep deprivation might not be much better. Hmn, stay tuned on this one
    – hot flashes that make you feel so hot you feel like you’ll pass out… in 64 degree weather
    – charlie horses in the middle of the night
    – sudden urges to wet my car-seat because some little boy has decided it would be a good idea to head-butt/punch mommy in the bladder while she sits in bumper-to-bumper freeway traffic
    – heartburn. As if lying down was already pleasant

    But are the boys worth it? Oh yeah. 10x over.


    Day 2 with S2

    November 3rd, 2010

    Hanging with S2 so far has been good. He’s a major sleepy-head, except of course from 2-5am in the morning, when he wants to be held while sleeping. It’s made the last two night interesting, and I know that it will be even harder when we get home, and I don’t have the same bed adjustment flexibility as I do here (I gotta tell you, being able to do fully up/fully down/half reclined is pretty good).

    Nursing has been both good and bad. Having the breastfeeding experience with G has been helpful in terms of positions and technique (good), but it hasn’t made  the overall process much simpler. Apparently you can lead a baby to boob, but can’t force it to chow down. Case in point: my milk has come in (good), but S2 likes to sleep the whole time, so he’s not really eating (bad). He has an excellent suck, though, when he wants to: the problem is that he doesn’t use it when he really needs to.

    G met S2 yesterday. While, overall, their meeting went well, his visit wasn’t really what I expected. I’ll write about it in a separate post and add some video.

    Meanwhile, here are some random S2 observations:

    • While in the OR, the staff was listening to the radio (KOIT). As S2 was pulled out and breathed his first breath, “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack was playing. I guess that will be our song.
    • S2 has a pointy chin. Don’t know who he gets this from, and ‘i know his face will change a lot in the next few weeks. I’m curious what he’ll look like already.
    • His hairline is doing this hilarious male pattern baldness thing
    • His eyes “could” turn blue. G’s eyes were brown from the start, but S2 has this deep-sea blue color to them, and I’m hopeful they’ll go blue.
    • He has hairy shoulders. I realize this is likely temporary, but his fuzziness is cute. And if it’s not temporary… well, we might need to start a waxing fund for him, just as G needs an orthodontics fund.
    • He gives my monkey toes a whole new level. I swear his foot is 1/2 toe. On the bonus side, he might not ever have to bend down to pick up objects. Trust me, this is a very handy skill to have, and I’ve been using it to my benefit these last 2 days as I can’t lean over!
    • His blood type is A+, just like his daddy. Kind of explains all the cravings for veggies I had. I swore to S, that w/ G all I wanted was carbs, and he has my blood type (and eating cravings), this baby had to take after dad. I was right.

    A sneak-peak of Kelly’s delivery photos are here: http://www.kellymphotography.com/2010/11/storming-in-the-bay-sf-bay-area-birth-photographer/ They’re amazing and I can’t wait to see the rest.

    I will be taking some newborn photos of S2 myself, maybe as soon as tomorrow if I get bored enough. I did some lighting test shots today, and I’ll show you some more of our little dude.

    S2 and his gramma

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    He likes to munch on his hands

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    Happy Halloween!

    November 3rd, 2010

    I meant to post these on Monday, but S2 decided to upstage me 🙂

    Just think: next year, we’ll have 2 monkeys prancing around.

    Trick or treating

    Making spooky pop-corn hands

    Daddy’s serious, scary and… uhmn… constipated face 🙂


    It Stormed today.

    November 1st, 2010

    Pssst! We have a baby. Clear blue skies may have been over the Bay, but a storm came through for us today. S2 was born at 1:18pm today (11/1/2010) weighing in at 6lb 10oz and measuring 18″ long. Apgar tests were 9 and 9 and he’s a cute little sleepy-bug.

    Last night I noted to one of my mom’s clubs that I drink a lot of water right before bed. And that even with pregnancy I could drink 1/2L at bed-time and sleep with only a single wake-up. Because of this of course, this morning, at 3:30am I felt as if I could barely hold it to go to the bathroom. Same thing at 4:30am. And then again a 5:30am. I literally felt like I was racing against a mess in my undies. I thought to myself “Yeah, this is karma for bragging. Instead of being up once, I’m now up a 3rd time.” With that last wake-up I just decided to call it quits on sleeping and got up. I went downstairs and started getting G’s breakfast ready. And then it happened: I peed my pants. I went upstairs, changed, and went to the bathroom, only to notice that I had started discharging some mucousy stuff. I got out of the bathroom, woke S up by saying “Babe, I think my water may have broken!” I don’t think I’d seen him get out of bed so quickly in a loooong time. He ran to the bathroom with me and began with the questioning: how much was it, what did it look like, etc.

    So we began the home organization game… just in case.

    At this point in time I knew I had to do three things:

    1. Contact Kelly. I was going to have a c-section, so once we knew we were going to be having a baby, I knew we weren’t going to have much time and I wanted to make sure she had the chance to get her house in order and then come out.
    2. Call my mom. Since she lives in LA, she’d needed a good amount of time to get up here to us to take care of G, while we were in the hospital.
    3. Tell work I wasn’t going in that day… and depending on the news at the doctor’s office, I might not be coming in for a few months.

     

    At 9am, we were at Dr. M’s office. She wasn’t there. Out of town. Dang it! I wanted to be checked. And sure enough, it WAS my water that had broken. Lucky me! I had just told a friend yesterday that I was really hoping S2 would give me at least another 2 weeks before making his appearance. Clearly he had other plans of his own. I sat there on the chair after the doc left crying “I’m not ready! What if he’s not ready?” But it’s not like I can put a cork in there to keep him in any longer, so today was the day.

    The doc asked us to wait in the waiting area while they contacted the hospital and assigned us a surgery time. I sat there on a waterproof pad. Sexy! Honestly, I was hoping for an afternoon time. Since I had no contractions, and wanted as much time to get ready, I didn’t want them to rush us. Oh, and I had purposefully had a bagel on the way to the OB’s office. Mostly because I knew that I wouldn’t be eating for awhile once we got to the hospital. Yet they gave me a time for my surgery: 11:30am. And it was 10am, and we were STILL at the doctor’s office. Shane and I ran home and began the packing game, making our final phone calls on the way. We were frantically throwing things into bags. I had a packing list (thankfully), and had some stuff already put away, but “ready” was not the word I’d use.

    This whole time I had been calling my mom too to tell her she needed to come out. The calls kept going to her voicemail, and I was getting worried. And frustrated. Yes, in the morning I had told her to go on with her day as planned, unless she heard from me. Well, here it was: her “hearing” from me, and I couldn’t get through. I called my dad, my sister, you name it. Lucky for me, this was the day she had class in a place where she had no signal. Somehow my dad managed to reach one of her friends, who was at class with her, and my mom was on her way. However, she wasn’t going to get here in time to get G home from daycare, so we went to drop-off a carseat and “care” bag for G. Miss J would bring him home today. A & B were also on call, but it made so much more sense for Miss J to help us out. She was already at the daycare. Our house is “kinda” on her route home. A & B have an infant of their own to worry about (and a toddler).

    We arrived at the hospital at 11:15. Clearly, my cesarean wasn’t really going to begin 15 minutes later, but we got into a room, I answered the interrogation portion of the program, and we were off. I was nervous about the procedure, I won’t lie, but it was quick, and I didn’t feel anything but the final part where they pulled him out of me.

    As hard as we tried, we didn’t make it to the hospital before 11:15. Clearly, my surgery wasn’t going to start 15 minutes later. We got placed into a pre-op room, and the interrogation for the forms began. We went over medicines, addresses, allergies… I don’t even remember what else. I just remember a stack of papers and 3 pens for my choosing to fill forms out with. Isn’t this why I sent in my pre-admission packet?
    I was now into my hospital gown and cap.
    It hadn’t been very long until Kelly arrived. Sexy hospital hair cap photos. Yey!
    Then it was time for my IV. I did my absolute best to be brave… for the pictures. Hey, Storm is going to see those some day. How can I ask him to be brave for his shots, if I couldn’t be?

    This is when the anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself. Good! It was time for me to plead with him to allow Kelly to take photos in the OR. This might surprise you too, but the person who ultimately has the power to say Yey/Ney on photos in the OR is not the physician performing the procedure (ie. my OB), but the anesthesiologist. To boot, at my hospital you never know who you will be assigned, so it’s not as if I could try and approach each one. But we got lucky: the guy was really sweet, and after considering it, he said OK. I was happy.

    Off to the OR I went for my final prepping. We were in the same room that our Griffin was born. Music was piping through the speakers. I hadn’t noticed this last time. Yeah, I suppose this “was” someone’s office, and sure, music seemed appropriate. I guess.

    One more needle. The one in my back. I was sitting on the table shivering. For starters, I was cold, but also the anticipation was making me shake. I kept thinking back to the last time I sat in that same spot. Griffin’s c-section was an emergency procedure. He was in distress, transverse, his heart rate dropping and we were moving fast. I sat in that same OR table-spot nervous, then, wanting my son to be OK, and at the same time relieved that it would all be over soon. Back then I had labored naturally, without any pain medication. I was tired, and in pain. I was so exhausted that I actually fell asleep the moment my head hit the table. Today I was nervous because I knew I would be awake the whole time. I wondered how much of it I would feel; see; hear. So I sat there shivering. Thinking. Could I really go through with this?

    As I lied down I kept wiggling my toes. I still could, and this scared me. What if they didn’t do the spinal right? I don’t want to feel my surgery! So I kept wiggling my toes. I even told the anesthesiologist I could still feel my lower body. He kept poking me, and asking if I was getting number. Luckily I was.

    It was then that Shane and Kelly came in. Shane sat by my side, and Kelly next to him. Then the doctors came in. Since Dr. M wasn’t there, her two colleagues delivered instead. I knew I was in great hands, but I still missed her. (BTW, it turned out she HAD been come back the night before, but still had the day off, but Dr. P had forgotten, so they didn’t call her. She apologized so much, because she wanted to be there for us.)

    It began. The anesthesiologist kept chatting us up. I remember thinking, “Dude, is this really a conversational-type situation?” I mean, what do you talk about when you know that someone else is poking around your insides? As it turned out vacations. And traveling abroad. I was about to have an infant within the hour, and he wanted to talk about the Bulgarian coast-side. After a while Shane and I wondered “Do you have any idea how close we are?” and almost as if on queue I started to feel some tugging. It didn’t hurt, but it felt so… strange. I remember opening my eyes really wide because the sensation was so bizarre.  “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack was playing over the radio. And then we heard a cry. S2 was born! It was 1:18pm.
    I asked “Is he still a boy?” These were the first words I spoke to G and it seemed right that I should ask the same question today too. And yep, still a boy. He was whisked off to the table, and after a good wipe down, I got to meet him.
    6lb, 10oz and 18″ long.

    S and Kelly went off to the nursery with S2. This is why I was so grateful Kelly was there. She was my eyes. She was there for me to experience, later, what I couldn’t in person.

    I got stitched up and put into a post-op room. I was cold again. Really cold. And thirsty. And hungry. While I could have all the ice chips I wanted, I knew food wouldn’t grace my sight until the next day. I was also tired so I kept going in and out of consciousness. Waiting on S and S2 to return felt like forever (although I’m sure they were gone no more than 20 minutes). When they came in, I got a chance to nurse. I wondered if it would be as hard as the first time I nursed G. To my surprise it wasn’t, but it was a little painful at first. It was a little like riding a bike after a long while. Except that you start off by falling and bruising your knee.

    The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur. We got into our home-away-from-home room and got settled in. We talked about when G should come and meet his brother. I asked that we wait until the next day. I was confined to the bed, with the pressure boots on, and the IVs. I didn’t want him to see me like that, and to associate his brother with me looking that way.

    I went to sleep that night with the feeling that I lived an eternity that day. It’s strange when you have a life-changing event so big and yet to everyone else it was just another ordinary day. But today was the day that my family was complete. Nothing ordinary about that.

    I’m really excited about seeing Kelly’s pictures. It will be awhile before I’ll be able to share those photos with you, but above is an iPhone sneak peak of our boy.