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Things I never thought I’d do

Consider this my confessional post. This last week I comitted two parental offenses I never thought I would.

Offense 1: taking a cab without a carseat for my kid. Yep, around the local 5m radius, I gave up the carseat while taking a taxi. Mostly because following those short trips we do a crapload of walking and lugging a convertible carseat (along with the other stuff we carry) hasn’t been too practical. I do insist we take it whenever we take a cab/car out of town though. While I don’t love being part of the polluting world I miss my own car and the ‘safe’ conveniences it comes with.

Offense 2: I kept my kid up until 10pm at a restaurant. While G has adapted a bit more to local time, he’s off by 3 hours accros the board. He wakes up at 9:30, wants lunch no earlier than 2, and does his bedtime starting at 10:30. In a way it makes planning time with friends a bit easier since we don’t have to be confined to our apartment by 7 every night (like at home), but I am sure that people think I’m nuts.

So ughmn, yeah. Bad Mamma.

International toddler

I’ve been away for awhile, but with good reason: we’re out of town. Let me elaborate: we’re more or less on the other side of the world, in a timezone 10 hours ahead.

While this trip so far has been easy in some respects, it’s been brutal in others and I’m having serious thoughts about doing another family trip of this magnitude with any child under the age of 5. We did this cross-over with a ratio of 3 adults to 1 toddler and I admire anyone that can do it in less. As far as I’m conserned 2 kids ounumber 2 parents on these types of journeys.

I’m envious of parents that have the luxury of road trips. Right now an 8 hour drive in a private space, and option to pull over sounds heavenly.

20 hour travel day: one 14hr flight, followed by a 3hr lay-over, followed by another 3 hour flight on the other hand? Not so much fun. As an adult, this is a tiring trip. I don’t blame my toddler for having his scram-fest fits.

G did pretty well flying actually. It helped that our trans-Atlantic flight was a red-eye and he slept through just about all of it. The carseat onboard was def. helpful, but he couldn’t sleep in it comfortably. Well, if you sat, restrained for 4 hours in one spot, you’d get pissy too. MY butt hurt after sitting that long, and I could shift my bum around. His 5 point harness on the other hand, didn’t give him that option. So he slept in my lap for a good few hours, pretty much sprawled out. It was the best sleep he had on that flight. Me? Not so much.

The time shift has been difficult. G’s been waking up routinely for 2 hours each night from 2-4am wanting to play. It’s been brutal. His naps are all over the place too, and I’m torn between keeping him on his regular schedule or following the sleep-begets-sleep rule. He’s been bed sharing with us too, which is also challenging (He can’t seem to sleep in his pack and play.)… for the parents mostly. G does 360s in his sleep. And kicks. I have a nice, welty bruise on my arm courtesty of a size 5 foot. S avoided a black eye last night, by miracle, as G slept with his head in my arm-pit and feet at S’ face. As I write, his feet are at the headboard and he’s literaly upside down. But he’s at least sleeping.
I am starting to wonder if our son really sleeps through the night. Or if he wakes up and chills out in his room without asking for us.
I’m also realizing that he’s not ready yet for a big boy bed. I was hoping that when the baby arrives it would move into the crib and G in a big-boy bed, but observing his sleep patterns these last few nights rules this out for me. He sleep-crawls/walks on the bed, and those little side rails won’t keep him from falling off the bed. S used to sleep walk as a child, and I think G might be too. I also have no idea how to keep him in said bed until he falls asleep. Luckily we have until Nov to figure this out, but my grand designs about using this trip as big bed training is a massive fail. And here I thought G would sleep in the other apartment room by himself. HA!

On the bonus side though, he is doing SO well culturally. He’s eating the food, which is a big bonus. My family adores him and he’s been so good to them. He also got to meet some new cousins, which is really heart-warming for me. He’s been in a great mood while awake, even given his lack of toys.

Now here are two travel tips I’ll put out there for parents. Bring masking tape and balloons.

In my McGuiver thinking, I knew we needed to child proof the apartment we rented. We can’t do anything permanent and with no international guidelene you can’t exactly bring outlet plugs from home, or know how many you’ll need. Hence the
masking tape. You spend 15 min covering outlets, taping down drawers and cabinet doors. It peels off easy, without taking the paint off too. My curious toddler isn’t onto this yet, and hasn’t managed to open anything I didn’t want him to. AND he’s tried! No, don’t do this at home, but in a travel pinch it works.

Item 2: balloons. They pack small, and when blown up give you hours of chase around, safe fun. Safe as in ‘it keeps the electronics safe’ from harder items thrown at them 🙂 I thank S for that idea.

So there you have it. My thoughts on the first few days. We have a memorial service to get through (which as it turns out G and I can’t go to – bad juju for pregnant women and kids under 3 to go to a cemetery here) and another week, but we’re getting by.

On my side, I am having somewhat of an identity crisis, but I need some more self reflection before I can share my thoughts. S and I are doing great, but I’m struggling with how I define myself culturally.

On the baby front, things are OK, I guess. Still no kicks, and I’m hoping that’s just the anterior placenta talking. I shouldda brought my monitor. I could use the peace of mind right now, rather than plotting which one of my mom’s doctor friends I can visit for their stethoscope. Silly me.

21 months

Our little man is 1yr 3/4. He’s almost 2 🙁 I’m not sad at this milestone, just that it’s so strange that he’s gone from this:

to this:

in what feels like overnight. He sees his photos come up on the photo frame and says “Baby!” when the baby is him.

G and I also had a conversation about how old he was. We were discussing that soon he was going to be two. To this he immediately responded “Three!” I showed him 1 on my hand, then 2, then 3. I counted all the way up to 5. I concluded that he was going to be 2 soon. To this he responded “10!” My dad was quick to remind me that he WAS right, and that in binary 10 really was 2. Yeah, hardy-har. You guys got me. I don’t think G has any idea what binary is, but I’ll give it to him.

He’s figured out a few new tricks this past month. For example, he can identify body parts I never even knew he knew. He knows his tongue and his knees (in addition to the standard, eye, nose, ear, mouth, belly button, etc. repertoire).

He’s an avid birder and can spend hours on end telling you about “buhds”, pointing up at the sky, and chasing ducks. There’s a pair of ducks settled into G’s school, and if we’re unfortunate enough to spot them on the way out of the car, it’s guaranteed to be a “late to work” day as G refuses to go in  until the ducks waddle beyond his reach.

He’s figured out that if he pulls on my pants, or finger, he can get me to stand up and that if he keeps pulling, I’ll go where he wants me to. Of course, when we get to his intended destination I have no clue what half of his babbles mean… but that’s a different story.

In addition, he fully understands that Elmo comes on the TV. The TV comes on with the remote control. G now brings us the remote control and simply states “Elmo!” as a demand to watch the little red, high-pitched dude waddle around. Curious George is also a sneaky influence. The other day G took me all the way upstairs (where we watch George on the week-ends), sat down on my bed and demanded “Goge”. Sadly for him, it was evening, and a week-night, so no George. He wasn’t thrilled and there might have been a tantrum involved.

Weight: 23lbs (woo! let’s hope he keeps gaining weight)

Number of teeth: 16 (last canine is now out! Halle-frikkin-luia, ‘cuz these last few were not fun… for anyone)

Words: 20+, but he is using more of them in phrases now, stringing 2-3 quite consistently.
* kite
* jamma
* water
* bread
* chair
* nigh-nigh (Night Night!)
* puhket (blanket)
* again
* sun
* egg
* boken (broken)
* aw man! (yeah, we’ve got the pre-teen responses underway too)
* jacket
* outside
* zippeh (zipper)
* pease (please)
* apple
* Goge (George)
* tree (three)
* ten
* run
* bunnies
* tutle (turtle)

Favorite food: No new foods. Still old tried and true spaghetti, oatmeal and the like. Kid likes his carbs. What can I say?

Favorite activity: Blocks and soccer. The kid can kick a ball with a running start and has great accuracy. He’s also enthralled by his wooden blocks.

My hopes for next month: That we can wrap up the last phase of sleep training, and leave his room while he’s still awake. He’s past the holding stage, which is great. One more stage to go. And that I go back to taking lots of pictures. My side photography business has eaten into my desire to do fun-for-me stuff and sadly, it’s reflected on G.

Potty trained?: Joke, right?

Naughtiest moment of the month: Rushing time-out along

Sweetest moment of the month: Kisses. He hasn’t really figured out the smooch part, yet, but he leans is head in and presses his nose in as a kiss.

Temper tantrum meter: mild

How do you discipline a kid that times himself out?

I know discipline is important. It’s important to start early. We do lots of redirecting in our home, paired with counting and some time-outs for serious crimes. But I’ve hit a new ceiling. How do you discipline a kid that counts themselves into trouble?

Case in point.

We’re trying to get G to NOT walk or stand while on the couch. This is mostly for his safety as he’s tumbled onto the floor now on two separate occasions. But he thinks it’s a game. Yesterday he gets up on the couch and blatantly stands and walks around while I’m sitting there next to him. Of course grinning ear-to-ear. We engage in the following discussion:

Me: G, I need you to sit down please

G: [cackle]

Me: Ok, that’s one!

G: [laugh]

Me: That’s two!

G: Tree!!! (while STILL standing mind you!)

And there you have it. G knows that three (or in his case “tree”) follows two, and he’s happy to participate in the counting game. BUT IT’S NOT A GAME, KID! You’re in trouble, and you just hurried yourself into it!

So since he counted himself out, he got removed from the couch (which is what I was going to do if I got to 3 on my own).

The thing is that this is the second time now he’s done that. He gives himself the 3 count, which has the same result as if I would’ve counted.

I don’t really know what else to do here. The consequence is the same no matter who gets to 3, but why is this fun for him? Is this him disrespecting authority? Do I need to be harsher in consequences if he counts vs. me?

Suggestions?

A conversation with my son

A bed-time chat with G. [Imagine a toddler, in his footed jammas, standing in his crib, a “banket” and Nubsie in each hand.]

G: Pease

Me: Please? Please what?

G: Sit

Me: You want me to sit? Ok.

Me: Do you want momma or dada to sit with you tonight?

G: Mama

Me: Ok, I guess I’ll sit with you.

How frikkin’ cool is this? This is the first actual exchange I’ve had with G, and yeah, even though he wasn’t using lots of words we actually had a conversation.

I want a blanket too!

I had really hoped to keep G blanket-in-crib free until he turned 2. While, yes, he sleeps with a lovey, and yes we put the fancy, thick crib bumpers back in a few months ago, it’s not the same to me as a blanket in his crib.Yes, I still worry about SIDS, and have taken the recommendation to keep blankets away from kid’s cribs until 2 to heart. Remember, too, that I used to go and check that G still breathing at 2am every morning until he turned 1.

I’ve tried to make him comfortable by still running the heater in his room, and putting him in fuzzy jammies, but G now goes to bed asking for a blanket. I’ve been giving him a really light-weight blanket and letting him fall asleep with it (since I stay in his room until he does), but then I take it away.

Except now he wakes up in the middle of the night and asks for a blanket. I can’t supervise him with it if my eyes are shut while sleeping.

So what do I do? Do I cave and say “Ok, you’ll be 2 in three months. Wrap yourself away!”, or do I hold firm on the no-blanket rule?

For the record, in day-care they nap with blankets. But they’re supervised by 4 teachers.

Am I just over-thinking this?

I can kiss my own boo-boos. Thanx!

There may or may not have been a rumble between our four-legged and two-legged children this past Sunday.

Hypothetically speaking, a certain toddler might have gotten a bit excited about chasing after a ball, and not seen a certain 18lb feline napping beside said ball. Also, this ball-recovery attempt might have taken longer than usual as cat and ball were under a chair. After a hiss warning, and no back-up from hypothetical child, the hypothetical cat might have issued a 5-claw salute. 3 times in fast succession.

Ok, fine. It happened. Right before bed-time. Made jamma-time interesting.

G escaped with a scratch on his arm and 2 on his forehead. He’s fine, and the crying stopped within a minute. He was more startled than injured, but it still required some TLC from us.

What’s interesting is that now when you ask “G, where is your kitty scratch?”, he looks at the (fading) scratch on his fore-arm and brings it up to his mouth. Don’t ask me where he got this from. I’m a general hugger/top-of-the-head kisser kind of mom. Not a “let me kiss it where it hurts” parent (some day he’s gonna fall on his butt in the park and trust me, I don’t care to kiss that in public). Either way, it’s cute and kind of funny.

So yeah, cat-kid battle was on. Cat 1, kid 0. Luckily the battle scars are fading, and their relationship is the same.

Do you know what you’re having? Yes, a 6lb bag of potato chips

We went to a b-day party yesterday, and feeling the liberty of 13w and the fact that most of our friends know we’re expecting, I wore a very belly-hugging shirt.

While I was following G run around like a mad-toddler, S was chatting it up with his b-school friends (sharing our news with those still in the dark). Later as I approached their group, friend N says:

“A, I see you need to lay off those chips”

My simple response was “Yeah, I agree, but with any luck in about 7 months, I’ll end up delivering a 6lb bag of potato chips”

N’s wife, however, was away while N got the scoop from S that we are expecting. To me, I look pregnant, but I think I’m at that stage where people are just afraid to ask. Horrified that her husband was getting so lippy, her jaw just about dropped. Thankfully after she heard my response, she relaxed. She said she was ready to smack him, or at the very least run away from the group so that she didn’t have to be associated with the embarrassment he was raining on himself. So lesson to the guys out there: if you’re in on knowing that someone is pregnant and want to make light of the situation, share it with your significant other first. Otherwise you risk getting their shoe fitted in your mouth 🙂

I kept the joke on for the rest of the party and as people asked if we knew what we were having, I responded “Not yet, but I hope it’s a bag of Kettle Salt & Vinegar”.

Now… onto G.

This party had a petting zoo. Although it took him 2-3 entries into the animal enclosure G LOVED it. They had little goats, a pink-bellied pig, bunnies, chickens and ducks. He was all over them, and really enjoyed the bunnies and the goats. I wish I had pictures to illustrate this to you, but in my “get out of the house” state, I replaced my dying camera battery with a fully dead one 🙂 Nothing better than pulling out your camera only to find out you can’t even turn it on. Sure made a nice weight for my diaper bag though.

G also greatly enjoyed the sand box. At daycare there isn’t a sandbox in the toddler/infant play area. Also given that we live in, what I swear is, a wind-tunnel, any sand left loose in our yard could only end up giving us a fine reproduction of the movie The Mummy. As such, R’s party was a bit of a treat for him. I think, he bonded with the sand particles as he took it upon himself to lead mission “Liberate Sand” and tried to evacuate as much of the sand from said box onto the mulch around it (pretty much now making it unrecoverable). This is where Mom buries her head in her hands and profusely apologizes to the owners of said home/sandbox.

Either way, a fun time was had by all.