Gametes In Love

It’s happened. G fights diaper changes now oh, roughly about 50% of the time. And by fights, I mean “battle-on, catch-me-if-you-can, scream-the-whole-time” fights. He squirms and flips over, and tries to slide down the dresser (where his changing pad is). It’s like trying to change a diaper on a cat… or what I imagine changing a diaper on a cat would be like.

I know I’ve talked about this in the past, but now there’s no rhyme or reason to a diaper change. The battle begins the moment I interrupt his activity of the moment to change his diaper. Even giving him a heads up is problematic. Then the running away starts just to catch him to get him to a change. I’ve tried books, toys, different things to keep him happy, but they typically get hurled at me and I don’t think that wearing a helmet should be necessary for a simple diaper change.

What’s really prompting this re-consideration is the planning for G’s new big(ger) boy room. I’m trying to decide if we should set up a diaper changing station for him, or let loose and go for the bed/floor option instead. Here’s the deal:

– I REALLY like having the diapers, the wipes, the protective cover, the butt creme all in one place.We have this today on top of a dresser and it rocks. Floor changes just don’t offer the convenience of all my supplies in the same place.

– I REALLY like that we have our diaper pail (well, really an automated kitchen trash can) about 1ft away from the changing table and I can literally dump dirties with the wave of a hand.

– I really DON’T like the fact that G is squirmy so much these days. While I can manage to change him none-the-less, the fact that he flips over and tries to slide off the changing station is not cool. Diaper changes are becoming a 2-person job around here, which let’s face it, is just not realistic.

– I really DON’T like that if I change him on the floor, he just crawls or runs away. While I’ve been lucky not to have to deal w/ a smeary, poopie butt yet, cleaning poop off the carpet if not my idea of a swell time.

– I REALLY like that my changing station is my height, and I don’t have to bend over. My body is hurting through this pregnancy and anything that requires me to lean over, or even sit on the floor causes me notable pain in getting up and even ceases my back at times. Plus I just can’t crawl as fast as he does. When he’s running/crawling away on the floor I just can’t go after him fast, and a giggling kid while I swear under my breath in pain is not my idea of a good time. I feel like a 90yr old trying to change my 2yr old’s diaper.

I’d love it if G would be ready to potty train, but he’s not. He’s far, far from it… at least for now, so I need to plan for more diaper changes in his future.

We’re trying to play around with standing diaper changes. I’m working on this, but the diaper just feels kind of saggy and loose. Even though I tighten as best I can, it doesn’t feel as secure when applied in a horizontal position. Obviously I’ll get better with practice, but I haven’t even had to tackle a stinky diaper change with G standing up. Plus, even though he’s standing, it doesn’t keep him still. If anything it makes it easier to run away. Ugh… now the thought of a running, butt-naked child with poop drooping of his behind is really not sounding appealing.

Advice is welcome.

My thoughts for now is to keep doing what we’re doing. It’s not great, but it still works even though changes take twice as long. At least my back hurts twice as less 🙂

I think what I’ll do for now is plan for another diaper changing pad. I want to get a dresser for G’s new room regardless, so the furniture piece won’t be a wasted purchase. Worst case, I end up getting a changing pad I won’t need and will resell/donate it. I’ll investigate getting a little diaper supply caddy too for those changes “on the run”.

I really thought that changing should be getting easier now, not harder. I mean… why would you want a wet or stinky diaper on you?

Now that G is getting older, diaper changing time is becoming a lot more fun… for him — challenging for me. He’s really enjoying turning side to side and playing with the textured wall. His feet have also never been more interesting. He couldn’t care less about them any other time of day except for when I need to wrap a diaper around him. It typically means me getting creative, rolling with it and trying to maneuver diaper tabs around his twists and turns.

Today he took helping me to a new level.

You see, G being a boy means that unless something is covering him while nekked on the changing table, we’re talking fountain city. As such, I just drape a wipe over him to avoid free sprays. After the new diaper goes on, I take the wipe off, throw it in the trash and we’re on our way. Anyway… as I’m laying out the clean diaper to put a liner on it, I look up to see G holding up his pee-guard in his hand waving it like a little white flag. Cute… but not helpful.

I can’t imagine what having a crawling/walking toddler will be like. I have crazy images of chasing a giggling, naked boy around the house and having to tackle him to put a clean diaper on. Humans are potty trained before that happens right?

G is loved by the ladies. He got two Valentines in the mail: one from his lady friend (Special K) and one from Grammie. Smooches to you ladies!

Unfortunately,  although loved by the ladies, he didn’t get much love from the Poop Faerie yesterday. On Valentine’s day she went on strike  and after two days of rice cereal for breakfast she was replaced by the Constipation Faerie.

Yeah, you read that right. I said Constipation Faerie: not a visitor you want often.

Yesterday was day 3 of G withholding “the big one”. He’d gone that long before, so I wasn’t too concerned, but come afternoon you could tell he was uncomfortable. It only got worse as the night progressed, with G having a hard time going to sleep for the night and waking up every two hours. Finally at 4am, he passed what he needed to, but overall he spent the day today as one tired baby. We, in turn, spent today as two tired parents.

He had 3 poops to make up for the 3 days of absence, but he looked mad all day. I swear whenever he looked at me today his face said “You did this to me!”.

We needed to get his passport photos taken today too, and he was not amused. Further proof that it’s impossible to take a good passport photo, no matter who you are.

So that’s the end of rice cereal for us. Well, I might bust it out when the Diarrhea Faerie comes for a visit (which hopefully will be a looooong ways away). I’m thinking of going with Whole Grain cereal for awhile. If that fails, I’ll wait until G’s a little older and offer him avocado instead.

Meanwhile, I guess I need to stock up on some prune juice…. and possibly some glycerin tablets 😮

Here’s to hoping that G will go back to his usual, cheerful self tomorrow.

Ok, it’s not like farts are a first for G, but before they were cute and didn’t smell. Today we’re getting a treat. A treat of something well… not so nice smelling. And he’s got some “silent killers” brewing.

While holding G this smell hit me so I looked up at S asking “Did you fart?”
He just responded: “You wanted to start solids: solid food means solid waste!”

And while this is true I thought we’d have a little bit more time. More time before The Big Stinkies came.

I’m not sure I’m looking forward to that #2 diaper G’s getting ready to deliver. Maybe this would be a good time to leave S with G and run some errands.

Some long extended errands.

… of poop that is.

If you have no desire to observe me marvel at the solid waste production value by my child this am, please skip this entry. However, if you want to take the train-wreck approach…. read on!

This morning after I finished feeding G (and got myself dressed), I headed into the nursery to get G changed and situated in his car seat for the drive to care. As I put him on the changing table I saw a poopie stain on his clothes. I think “Oh, goodie!” I peel off Mr. Froggie from him and notice that even the toy has poop slathered on it. This stuff leaked so bad it sent through his clothes onto his toys. Now I’m checking my clothes (the one day I decide to get dressed before him) to see if I myself need a change. After I confirmed I was poop-free, I proceeded to reveal the diaper.

Dear lord, it was a sight to behold! (Ok, fine — not really)

There was no holding back from this kid. I think he was saving 2 days worth of poops to deliver in one go. I was trying to maneuver his legs up in the air, the wipes, the old diaper while trying to minimize the mess. What was G doing? Looking very content. Yes, we are happy to see him “go” as it illustrates he’s eating well, but that smug smile on his face as I was bewildered on what to do first was walking a fine line.

All I have to say is that I am glad this happened in a disposable diaper (since he sleeps through the night, we put a ‘sposie on for the duration).  S should be happy too that he’s not rinsing that out tonight.

… now back to non-poop scheduled programing. You hope.

Well… not to S, nor me, but apparently G finds them hilarious. The other day during a diaper change, I overheard the following exchange through the monitor

S: Holy cow!

G: [cackle]

S: Look at this! What has your mother been feeding you?

G: [cackle]

Apparently big, messy, stinky diapers are especially comical. Either that or the look of disbelief on our faces.

Have you noticed that some places only have changing tables in the ladies restroom, but not in the guys restroom? What gives? Is the female gender the only one capable of handling a diaper?

We’ve come across this enough that it’s starting to get to me. Three reasons mostly:

1) In restaurants, I am now an opportunistic human vacuum cleaner. I have a limited amount of time to consume food with both hands before G needs to be nursed, comforted, or what-not. If I can eat like a grown-up without needing S’ assistance in cutting my food, I’m thrilled. I eat as much of my grown-up, utensil-requiring food whenever the chance arises. S’ 5 minutes in the bathroom changing G is that opportunity for me, and I relish it.
2) I really don’t mind changing diapers… really — I don’t… but on an average week-day, I’ll change 7-9 diapers while S maybe 1-2. I’m not complaining about the unevenness in effort here, but S should be given the ability to do change G as well.
3) If S was out with G on his own, and G needs a change, what is S expected to do? Go in the ladies restroom? Change the baby out on the dining table?

So my new mission now is to call up management whenever we encounter places like this.

And guys… the next time you walk into a restroom, look around? Is there a place for you to change a baby if you had to? Trust me — a baby crying ‘cuz they’re wet or dirty is much worse then handling the diaper itself.

Feel free to join my changing table cause! Do you think I need to make wrist-bands?

Santa’s come early to our house this year. Although his full generosity won’t be revealed until next week, this particular item will be getting use as soon as possible.

Introducing, the next stage of bum cleanliness: G’s Bum Genius Diapes.

They’re cute, they’re colorful, they hold stuff in. ‘Nuf said.

Yey diapers!

I can’t wait to use them… and I’m sure G-man can’t wait to make his first deposits and spray them with his personal rinse.

Introducing Mr. Bubblebutt!

We’ve been transitioning G into his Kissaluv’s cloth diapers this week. This has been day 2 of wear. They’re cute, they’re practical, but in addition to moving him to these diapers I also have to move him to the next size onesies, because the NB ones won’t support his new sized derrière.

I can just hear G saying “Do these diapers make my butt look big?”

The answer?

“Oh YEAH!”