I’m really struggling to assess 2013. I find myself really regretting this year being over… but maybe not so much because it was such a great year, but because I’m finding myself opening the door to 2014 with a lot of trepidation. As I’m getting older the unknown behind the next corner is getting to me. Some of it is good. Some of it won’t be. It’s the latter that makes me anxious.
The events of Oct. 28th rattled me perhaps much more than I’ve been able to admit. While it didn’t happen to MY family, it hit in my extended “chosen” family, and it’s been making me re-evaluate a lot. Who am I as a mother? What have I accomplished? What is out there that I still want to do? Just HOW MUCH do my children and husband mean to me? The idea of loss in my mind is tearing up a whole in my heart so big that I just can’t even handle facing that, and I fear 2014 because I don’t know what it will bring.
Yet I look back on 2013 with so much positive:
– G made huge strides in how much he’s grown and matured. HUGE! Graduating from therapy was a big milestone for me
– S2 is such a little boy now, and builds like a maniac, while still loving and hugging like the best friend you’d want in life
– G is doing so, SO well in pre-k at his new school
– Zoe came into our lives with all her love for us
– New jobs for both S and I
– Our parents have been in good health
– My little sister is getting married- Gma Piper passed away, and while this in of itself is NOT a positive event, her full life and all her loving family make me very thankful. I fully adopted Gma Piper as my grandmother too, and feel blessed to have gotten to know her too
You gotta admit: it’s a little hard to leave that behind.
So I guess with some trepidation, c’mon 2014.
I leave you with photos of our last family session w/ Corinne McCombs. She did a pretty great job given that I made her work in full sun in the morning.
