There’s a list of skills I think every parent acquires. You kinda know you’ve “made” it when:

  1. You learn to go to the bathroom and take off/put on your pants only with one hand… because the other one is holding the baby. (For the ladies: maternity pants truly go INTO maternity, let me tell ya’ and extra points for mastering this skill on NON-maternity pants)
  2. You’ve dropped food on your child’s head on it’s way to your mouth, because again, you’re holding the baby while eating.
  3. You find yourself saying things like “Come here so I can smell your butt” to your child… and then doing it.
  4. Your kid spits up on their outfit, and instead of changing it, you smell it to decide if it still has life in it left.
  5. You become quite accustomed to sleeping sitting up from holding a baby in the middle of the night.
  6. You pick our furniture and carpeting based on stain resistance and not just aesthetic factors.
  7. You pause (and cringe) when you accidentally swear for fear that your 2-yr old heard you.
  8. You feel blessed to have a non-interrupted conversation with another adult in the presence of your child.
  9. You can’t have a conversation for more than 10 minutes with another parent (or soon-to-be parent) that is not about children.
  10. You find yourself wanting to do chores alone. These same chores pre-children you wanted to do in the company of others.
  11. You know all the lyrics to introductory songs of shows you would have previously never been caught sober, watching.

My list goes to 11 🙂 Wanna add more?

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