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    Is the Clock moving Backwards – this is a long wait

    Today is the day. Now is the time.

    I’m sitting in the waiting area of the doc’s office while Wifey is probably knocked out on the table. Each time a door opens I quickly look up expecting to see a nurse coming towards me with info – my logical mind says “good news” but my emotional mind fears that it’s “bad news”.

    Wifey gave me a task to do while waiting, create my holiday card list of names and addresses – as mind numbing as that is, I still can’t even focus on it. So hands jump to keyboard (you didn’t think I would arrive for a three hour wait without a laptop did you?) for the therapeutic release of a blog post.

    News Flash – I just heard our RE’s voice in the hallway. She was just checking on any waiting patients before she “went to retrieval”. An hour after our check-in at the clinic and it sounds like the doc is heading to Retrieval. That’s a good sign – things are on schedule.

    Back to earlier thoughts. I thought after the shots ended we would coast into the retrieval appointment. It was at that point that my mind fought off the negative thoughts – had I been giving the shots correctly, were we too flexible in the timing of the shots, did I really give 5 IU last night or was that 10 IU. I could also tell that Wifey was more uncomfortable – the noticeable cringe on her face when the cramps shot through her were more frequent, the stiff look when we hit a bump on the road. It made me appreciate the sacrifice she was going through for US.

    As much as it seems like a selfish reason, I’m glad I gave all the shots and attended most of the doc visits because I feel a part of this process. Otherwise I think I may feel more like an ingredient in a recipe – “Please produce a sample. Now wait here.”

    The clock ticks away. The procedure is probably starting now. In an hour, we’ll be on our way home. Then we’ll have the challenge of replacing any negative thoughts with hopeful ones while we wait for the fertilization report tomorrow morning.

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