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    In Vino Veritas

    I don’t think I fully understood the meaning of that quote until last night.

    These last two days have been some of the roughest in this process so far. Here’s why:

    This week started off well, with the cycle planning, only to come crashing down on Tuesday morning when we spoke with the clinic’s financial advisor. As it turns out, all the “fortune” I believed we had with Aetna covering a round of IVF is no fortune at all. Our doctors are covered because they are in network. The clinic’s surgical room where the egg retrieval and transfer will be done is also covered, but the clinic’s laboratory, where I will be receiving daily blood work/ultrasounds and will perform the ICSI procedure is out of network and is not covered. The cost of the lab is over $6000. That’s no small peanuts!
    And that is where things started unraveling.

    My cycle is supposed to start at the end of this week. After that it’s pills, tests, injections in a row. If we don’t pay out of pocket, do we stop and wait? What does stopping mean and what are the alternatives?

    HE and I have been in major disagreement about it. HE is now leaning towards trying IUI instead, and I don’t have the heart to pursue a procedure that in my mind would be us going backwards. This part is really difficult to explain, which is why communicating between us since Tuesday has been so difficult. I just have feelings and instincts that make me choose IVF over IUI. I can’t explain those. In my rational mind, I do realize that IUI is cheaper – thousands of dollars cheaper, but in my heart I fear yet another negative test and yet another emotional cycle spent waiting on a procedure that has much lower success rates.

    I’ve been crying on and off for those two days.

    So last night after work, HE made dinner. I opened a bottle of wine, and after 2 glasses each (which for me, def. means intoxication), some of the stuff we’ve both been keeping inside started coming out. We cried together, and talked together. I think we now know where each of us is coming from and what we’re thinking. Ironically, I don’t know that we agreed on what to do next, but at least we’re back to openly talking. We have had such an amazing relationship this far, and I thought that how we are with each other would get us through this process. I just never thought that it would be THIS hard!!!

    There is a chance that the insurance will cover the lab, provided we certify it, but we won’t know for sure and the process for this certification is so abstract. My primary care physician has to initiate this process. She’s been out of the loop this whole time, and getting 4 parties to share information has been exhausting to orchestrate.

    So how do I feel?

    • Angry. Angry with the insurance company. Angry with the hoops that we have to jump through hoops for them so that they can stay profitable. Angry with the clinic in a way for not mentioning to us earlier that the lab is not covered, esp. since they’ve known all along.
    • Exhausted. I don’t think I’ve been this emotionally wrecked in a long time. I can’t even talk about it with others. It’s honestly easier for me to write it down so that others can read, than having to share the story.
    • Confused. The limbo state is driving me bonkers. I don’t know what procedure we’re doing, I don’t know what to schedule next.

    I think all we know up next is this: once my period arrives, I will start taking the birth control pills and assume we’re following the IVF route. This buys us a few days to square things away with the insurance company. IF we know more at that point, we’ll go through with the next round of tests and order the injectibles for IVF (which will cost $1000+). If we don’t, we have three options:

    1. Suck it up and pay for the lab out of pocket.
    2. Continue taking the full month’s full of pills and then maybe try IUI in December instead.
    3. Stop this IVF cycle while we continue to work with the insurance company on getting the lab certified so they will cover the lab costs with the hope of starting again in January.

    I don’t know where we are on the decision between those three at this point.

    So that’s the news today. It’s a long vent, so thanx for listening.

    One response to “In Vino Veritas”

    1. Evonne says:

      I don’t understand why the lab fee is out-of-pocket. Shouldn’t the whole IVF procedure be covered? That’s so full of crap! I hate insurance companies!

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