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    No honey… Lamaze not Lemans class

    A few months ago we saw this great cartoon of an expectant couple on their way to birthing class. The guy was wearing a racing helmet as his wife was trying to explain the difference between Lamaze and Lemans.

    So now on the way to our birthing classes S likes to drop some references to said cartoon.

    Sadly for him, we’re not taking Lamaze classes. We’re taking Bradley classes.

    For those unfamiliar with the program, Bradley method is a birthing methodology. It stresses natural & un-medicated childbirth. The courses also offer dedicated sections on breast-feeding and infant care. It’s (typically) conducted over a period of 12 weeks, but our instructor teaches it in 9. We liked the longer, spaced out period better than the single day 8+ hr cram session at our hospital. I’ll be frank with you – I can barely do anything beyond 2 hours these days, so asking me to sit in a chair/floor/anything for 8 hours just ain’t gonna happen.

    Today was our 3rd class. Well, sorta. Technically it’s our 6th class. We had to split up the sessions, since we’d be due right before class #6. So we took the last 3 classes first (which focused on infant care, breast-feeding, minimizing intervention), and are now doing the first 6 sessions.

    Today was our first class on actual labor. I’ve been waiting for this class a long time. We went over the 4 stages of labor, discussed the anatomical process and watched a video. Yep. I am no longer ignorant. It was a bizarre experience. It’s like you want to watch and not both at the same time. The lady in the video seemed to be enjoying herself waaaay too much. After the first 3 minutes, I had to ask “Is she in labor, or is she having an orgasm?” Seriously. Way too much happy groaning going on there! If we didn’t get the preface that this was an un-medicated birth I would have assumed that she got something really good from either the doc, or self-medicated before getting to the hospital… “naturally”, if you get my drift. I know that birth is not likely to reflect what my experience will be.

    I might have nightmares about said video, or more specifically on some of the close-ups. It’s strange to be in a class about birthing and wanting to turn away from the birthing video. Would that be inappropriate?
    Alas there are more videos to watch. My innocence is receding quickly.

    In other news, my latest OB appointment was today. I’ve gained 2 lbs over the previous week, but in my defense I swear a pound of it has got to be water weight! I feel good, but really swollen up: my feet; my hands; my face – I swear I’m a smaller version of the Michelin man. The witch from Hansel and Gretel drools and fires up her ovens when she sees me walk by.

    One response to “No honey… Lamaze not Lemans class”

    1. Oh! Thanks for this post. I’ve been really curious about Bradley classes, since DH backed off on his ridiculous elective-C idea. 🙂 They want us to sign up by week 14– OMG that’s next week! Anyway, I hope you have a successful birth that feels just like an orgasm!

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