February 28th, 2014
My parents came up to visit last week-end. It was nice to have them. My mom has been in Bulgaria for so long, this is the first time she’s been up since last Easter. I went out with them and the boys just to take some photos. S2 got sick. My mom and I prepped the garden and planted our first veggies. We made mekisti — something I haven’t eaten in years. They were delicious!
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February 28th, 2014
Morning kid tackles are pretty much the best. G came into our bedroom this Saturday… fully dressed, trying to sneak up on S. It was too cute, and I’m glad I had my camera close by. The way the two look at each other? All that love written all over S’ face — it’s priceless. G’s laughter and giggles? Ah, I hope he doesn’t lose that mischievous part of himself as he grows up. These are the moments I take mental snapshots of. I guess for a change, I’m kinda glad I have actual snapshots of 🙂
I’m not even bothering to edit these images too much. I like them as raw as they are.
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February 24th, 2014
Me: S2, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?
S2: Spiderman!!!
(here I think to myself “Aw!”)
S2: … and then, Superman.
S2: … and then Batman, The Hulk, Iron Man and Captain America
I think he’s gonna be booked nights for awhile.
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February 21st, 2014
I’m still trying to make sense of today. I know I feel tired. And empty. A little scared. Thankful.
Things that made me cry today:
T. Giving her a hug today reminded me why we were there.
Jonathan’s batman slippers… while he and Nicholas wore dress suits that were a little big for their frame. They’re too young to know this grief.
Libby’s hand rolling her daughters casket into the service. Caskets should never have to be made for someone this little.
Libby’s words. How is she so composed in face of such devastation?
I was glad to have S with me today. I needed him by my side. And he was. So were the spouses of the rest of our group (as much as work allowed them to be). It was good to see the support system of the support system be there.
I needed today. It made it more real. Though it still doesn’t feel real. How can it be?
I haven’t cried much since the 12th. I thought I mourned her 4 times already. Maybe I was prepared? I wasn’t. Today was hard. Will there be more hard days? Will they catch me off guard?
I turned 35 this week. It’s the first year I feel so…. mortal. I’ve lost friends before. Loved relatives. Some were taken too soon. But none hurt this bad. How is that possible?
I look at my graying hair. At the wrinkles on face. I hate seeing them there. I’m not ready. I feel like I’m just starting to make a difference in this world: not transition into an age of obsolete-ness.
I notice more people around me experience loss and reflect on health scares. It’s too much. Too many. I need wedding announcements, baby births, and good luck for ‘getting your offer on that house’ requests. Not ‘there’s a lump in my breast’ prayers.
I can’t take much more.
My heart has reached capacity. I’m empathic. But I don’t have any more room to be sad. Not yet. I haven’t healed enough from this yet.
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February 17th, 2014
S2 has joined the ranks of the toilet trained peoples. We spent this past week-end rewarding via Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops and Lego mystery pack pieces successful contributions to the human waste sludge of our local municipality.
I will say that doing this with S2 was much easier than with G. I knew he was much more ready. He’d actually gone through daycare on several occasions, and one of his teachers has been urging me to get on it. But I’ve been waiting for a 3-day week-end when there wasn’t a whole lot of activity already planned. This was it. Valentine’s day was a stay-at-home day for him, since his school had in-teacher training. Plus President’s Day — it gave us 4 days to do this.
Total accident count? 3.5. The first 2 were on the first day, as expected, but he got it. Super fast. By the end of the first day, no joke, he was running to the bathroom on his own. The second day I was worried, because he seemed to be able to go when urged, but he wasn’t initiating going on his own. I don’t want to do the reminder approach — I want him to recognize when he has an urge. Day 3, yesterday was awesome — I let him do his thing and he did great. Today, same thing. So, I guess he’s ready.
Meanwhile, I’m “ready” with extra outfits in the car and a piddle pad on his car-seat.
We even managed to leave the house a couple of times, and he did great. Even survived a movie today… which as a side-note also marks a first — a first movie he’s been able to sit through IN a movie theater. I put a pull-up over his undies, just in case we couldn’t make it to a bathroom in time, but he was dry.
Yey, S2!
And… since I was subjected to staring at a naked tush for the past few days, I’m subjecting you to the same. I mean, what kind of mother would I be without embarrassment material for his teen years?
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February 17th, 2014
Chapter I. Marriage
Kissing. That’s why people get married. So they can kiss all the time.
Chapter II. Human anatomy
Does everyone carry scissors in their butt? You know… so they can cut the poop when they’re done?
(Stay tuned. Undoubtedly there will be more)
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February 1st, 2014
We are blessed to have not one two backseat drivers in our home (of the wee-high variety). On a family drive today we heard some of these goodies:
Backseat driver #1:
– is this how fast you’re supposed to be driving?
Backseat driver #2:
– are you buckled up?
– use both hands when you drive!
We issued my dad a backseat drivers license a decade or so back. I may have to issue our two drivers their own.
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