Never say “Never”
S’ mom gave us some parenting advice at our shower: “Never say that your child won’t do something because some day they’ll go and do just that.”
I’m finding that this piece of advice is extending not only to G, but to my expectations of myself and parenthood in general. I am seeing myself doing/saying/feeling things I never thought I would.
– A conversation about baby poop with friends? Never thought that would ever be a popular topic of discussion, but yet it has been… on several occasions.
– Breastfeeding in public? Check! I cover up, of course, but feeding my kid has taken priority over my modesty and ego.
– Pumping exclusively? Utter failure! I idealized that I would only pump, and while G got his essential nutrients through my milk, S and I would equally be able to share in baby bonding and feeding. Yeah…. HA! When G is hungry and vocally telling me about it, I think “bust out the boob!”, not “where’s my pump?” Having prepped milk is also an option, but being in a location where’s its constantly available in the quantity needed isn’t always a guarantee. I admire the women that do this, but as it turns out, I am not one of them. And to be honest, I don’t mind it much either. Since I’ve been at work I seem to do 50-50 pump and feed. It’s still a ton of work.
– Staying at home full time w/ baby… and enjoying it? Big check. This one was perhaps my biggest surprise. Some women have known from the start that they want to be stay at home moms. That’s fine with me, but with my nature, I knew this choice was not the right one for me. However the last few months at home with G were really a lot of fun and I enjoyed it more than I expected. I miss him during the day now and constantly wonder what he’s doing.
– Appeasing a child as opposed to following the parenting books? Have you seen our hair drier lately? We’re on the second one (after burning out the first)! The first was raising a white flag and was tying bedsheets together in an attempt to escape our house from over-use. It was sitting in a box unused (except when house-guests asked for it), collecting dust until G came along. As it was one of few things that pacified him, it got overly frequent use. Now it’s gone to hair drier heaven and I’m certain loving every second of it. When it died, S and I were in the store a few hours later purchasing it’s successor. We do what we gotta do to get G to a happy state, and if that doesn’t jive with people that have “doctor” or “whisperer” in their author name, I’ve just stopped caring.
– Daily wake-ups before 6am? Yeah, getting out of the house at a good time implies spending a good amount of time getting ready. Although I don’t wake G until after 6, my alarm goes off so that I can finish packing up his breakfast, my pump, shower and dress. I used to think parents that got up before 6 were nuts, and yet here I am. 5:45 bed exit for me this a.m. I dread what my life will look like when solids & breakfast come into the picture. I now understand why the makers of Pop-tarts are diving into a pool of golden coins.
– Home by 7pm? I never understood families that just refused to go out for dinner, or had strict timelines when they wanted you to visit and leave by. Now I get it. If G’s not starting his bed-time routine by 7-7:30 he is cranky. I mean CRANKY! It makes for an unpleasant dinner experience for anyone. So we rush to be home in time to put him down. Next time I invite you for dinner at 5:30, that’s why! That’s right — we have a curfew again. Mind you the earliest curfew I’ve ever had.
So there you have it. A few of my “Oh, I’ll never do that!” items that have come to bite me. Feel free to add your own.
I remember when we were there 2007for Thanksgiving and you had invited a couple for dinner and because it was around 5:30 pm they couldn’t come because it would interfere with the child’s schedule. I thik the comment was I don’t think it would have hurt them to skip a schedule one day. But now you know how important that naptime,bedtime schedule is for your baby and as important for you too