• Home
  • About
  •  

    Siblings: when yours (singular) becomes yours (plural)

    December 27th, 2011

    G asked S a good (and sad) question the other day: ‘why is the kitchen not mine anymore?’

    You see, G’s play kitchen was a birthday gift for him. It’s been a staple in our home getting love at least weekly from him, and now daily from S2. When  G plays with his trains we keep S2 out of trouble by redirecting him to the kitchen. This peanut loves everything about it too (best $139 spent as far as I’m concerned. Thanx, IKEA!), so it’s no surprise that we catch ourselves saying things to him like ‘Why don’t you go play with your kitchen?’ as opposed to ‘Why don’t you go play with your brothers’ kitchen?’

    And today as I was pulling some toys out of the garage for S2 that belonged to G, G was quick to point out they were his. Auntie S got G a wonderful pull-alligator for his first Christmas. We call him ‘Chomps’. Clearly G has outgrown this toy, ignores it otherwise, but it WAS gifted to him.

    So I’m feeling a little stuck. It’s one thing for toys he’s received over time to become shared toys. But those received for special occasions: where do we draw the line at what can be passed on?

    We don’t have the money or environmental callous to get 2 of each toy. It’s just not practical. Especially things that come and go in phases. So I’m feeling a bit stuck.

    I don’t want G to NOT form any attachment to his things, thinking that at some point they will be taken away from him. I want him to WANT to share them with his brother, but for things that were purchased as a gift for him, quite honestly, I want him to feel like he CAN deny sharing.

    Hence my conundrum. What’s appropriate here?