Gametes In Love

Last Monday G weighed in just a tad over 10 lbs. He had no weight gain in a week, and two weeks prior he lost a bit of weight. As his sole source of food this is giving me complexes you can’t possibly imagine. He has PLENTY of diapers each day, so I know he is eating enough and is hydrated enough, so I don’t know what gives.

It doesn’t help when I hear friends casually mention their 18lb 4 month olds or 10lb 1 month olds. G is coming in at the 3rd percentile for his age group, and whereas I’m keen on the idea that my child is a rare diamond in the rough, when it comes to physical development I’m really happy for him to be very average.

I did have an epiphany this morning though, which after a tad of internet poking around (seriously, what did people do prior to the internet?) I think my idea may have some merit. Last year, amids our fertility testing, I was diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. Hypothyroid to be precise. I’ve been on medication ever since and will most likely stay on it for the rest of my life. Within a month of being on it, I did notice my metabolism leveling off a bit and I noticed long desired weight loss in my body. All this was good… back then. Now, I started to wonder if it’s possible that the medication transfered to G through my milk, or if it impacted the content of my milk, such that it is delaying G’s ability to grow. Turns out there is some merit to this and I’m not so crazy after all.  From my internet research I found this:

The likelihood is, if you are hypothyroid, and taking the proper dose of thyroid hormone replacement, you will be able to nurse your baby. However, La Leche League’s Breastfeeding Answer Book says, “Women with a history of thyroid problems may need to be retested if their nursing baby is slow in gaining weight, as changes in metabolism can affect milk production.”

Although I had my OB retest my thyroid levels a few weeks after birth (since my thyroid got a bit wacky after pregnancy), I’m going to ask to check it again. Also, I will be bringing this up to G’s pediatrician. We had weight gain conversations, and attributed his slow progress to his reflux. I never thought to mention my prescription regimen.

I may be grasping for straws here. I just want my little guy to be healthy and happy. I’m not thrilled about the idea of transitioning to formula, and even the idea of supplementing makes  me feel inadequate, but I have to keep reminding myself that this isn’t about me.

However, in ME news, as of today I’m only 3 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. My body shape is a different matter, but we’re getting there 🙂

In summary: weight loss in mommy? Good. Weight loss/stall in baby? Boo!

As we all know, storks bring couples babies. And if you’ve been following us for awhile you know that our stork unfortunately inherited my terrible sense of direction so is probably still circling the forests of Bolivia with an upside down map. As such we had to replace said stork with a higher tech alternative with “M.D.” in their name. White feathers, white lab coat… same difference.

It’s been almost a year since 7 of my gametes were introduced to 7 of S’. December 8th last year was my egg retreival. To commemorate the occasion, I took G to the RE clinic so that he could meet his “stork”.

Several weeks after G was born we got a call from the clinic to follow up. They asked us to bring him in. Honestly, this request took me aback. Although I understand that it’s great for staff morale, I really didn’t want to do anything that would upset current patients by reminding them why they were there in the first place. I debated it for a long time and, in the end, sentiment won over and we went. I asked for as late in the day time as possible as to avoid a full waiting room. When we arrived I was relieved to see that there was no-one waiting, and fortunately it stayed that way while we were there. Each time the door opened though, I got a nervous jolt. I really, really feared upsetting anyone.

The one thing I didn’t expect was how I would feel being back. Walking into that office brought back many memories. I remembered the chairs by the door S and I sat in while waiting on the day of the retrieval… the way I felt at each appointment… the nervous optimism each time I arrived, and the twinge of disappointment at my weak response to the meds when I left.  I wondered if we were to ever try again if I would feel the same way. Honestly, keeping G from fussing and crying while we waited kept me from crying. Although I was happy we were there together, I was also relieved when we got back in the car to go home. I was happy to leave those emotions back in the clinic and genuinely hope to not open the door back to them until the next time we go.

I didn’t really know what to say to Dr. B when she came out. I must have said “thank you” in about a dozen different ways, although I think G’s smiles at her were probably the best of all. She looked genuinely happy to see him.

I am glad we went, and now G has met his “stork” 🙂